Fibromyalgia Update

I'm realizing lately that I haven't spent much time lately focusing on Fibromyalgia... the intent of this blog. I've found myself often in that position of not wanting to complain too much, sharing what I know about Fibro or what's affecting me in a story-like way so as not to bore you or make you think I'm talking about it way too much, and trying to remain positive in some very bleak, dark days but also wanting to shine a realistic light on how I'm feeling.

So for right now, I'm not entirely sure what all to say... so here goes some random thinking...

I've embraced this trial to the best of my ability

I'm still overwhelmed and confused by it all

The pain and fatigue are virtually unbearable these days

I'm waiting and trusting in the Lord

while learning the meaning of true rest and peace

and wanting to scream in agony all the while

Feeling frustrated by my lack of strength and energy

Wanting so badly to find a way out of the pain all over my body

unending pain

struggling to avoid bitterness and resentment

fearful

trying not to worry

leaning on God's strength

adjusting my lifestyle

trying to lose weight

so badly wanting to have a baby

hoping weight loss and diet changes might lessen my fibro symptoms

struggling because it's such hard work

and I admit to laziness

sometimes wishing my way out

but knowing that's the worst thing I could do

wanting to be molded and shaped and allow God to use this to grow me

and use this for my good and his glory

trying to figure out the next steps to take

be further tested

find new docs

get a second opinion

ugh

so exhausted

so stressed

so much pain

remembering Christ's sacrifice on the cross

how much he gave for me

what I deal with everyday is nothing near what he went through

in light of Christ, my suffering is nothing

Philippians 3:12-14

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."