Losing It, Week 3, Will I Ever Get This?

I forgot to weigh in this morning.

Again.

And yes, I'm going to share the weight instead of percentage of weight because I have no freakin' clue how to do that.

I was okay at math. In high school. Now my calculator is my best friend. When I know what I'm doing.

Which is rare.

So alas, I'll share the weight loss details when if I weigh in one of these days. For now, all I can tell you is that I feel better. I'm doing better with it all. And my very dear friend Monica told me last night the pants she's hemming for me, that I tried on to check the length on, are fitting looser than before.

YAY!

I love my friends. :) Don't they just know what to say and when to say it, even if you aren't sure they're telling you the truth, all the while also knowing they would never lie to you? I know that makes no sense but trust me, it went through my head.

Last night I had my second one-on-one nutritionist appt. It was wonderful and overwhelming. I love my nutritionist, but man alive, these are going to be even tougher changes than I thought. Instead of just cutting back on portion sizes and fattening foods (like what I was imagining from life in Weight Watchers), she has me pretty much getting rid of (i.e. giving to a food pantry) everything I own.

YIPES!

Okay so I don't know that I can be all in like that and be so dramatic. I'm still honestly mulling it all over. I want to at least buy what she's recommending, but still leave those other things on hand. But then will I be too tempted by those things? I know though that I'm really picky and I might not like these new whole grain, super nutritious, tastes-like-cardboard thingys. So why get rid of everything I do like? Are Nutra-Grain bars or Honey Nut Cheerios or regular apple juice really that bad?

In her book, they are. She wants me to get rid of everything with high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, palm oils, sugared-up, and pretty much everything processed. Oh okay, no problem.

Pshhht.

We've gone over the fact that I'm not a lover of cooking. I try. I do fairly well when I expend all my energy into it. Hence why I don't do it often. So, getting rid of all of those things freaks me out a wee bit. It's a lot of crazy hard work.

Have I ever mentioned before that I'm lazy?! This is going to be really tough.

So like I said, I spent the time after my meeting with her at my friend Monica's house. She and her hubby Brian took a one hour class together nearby so I watched the little tyke (Parker, how could you forget? :)) while he slept and I read a book. Afterward we talked about weight loss, weight gain, foods, etc. They are phenomenal and determined about it themselves, and it helped inspire and motivate me. They gave me really good advice about all of it, although yes, I'm still processing it all. I'm a little freaked out that if I'm too drastic about it, I won't do well with it for an extended period of time and just go back to all the same old stuff but even worse than before. I've had that happen to me once years ago. I lost 35 pounds in 3 months after cutting all sugars/sweets and soda out of my life, and exercising like crazy (this was before Fibro). But when I stopped and went back to normal foods, I went back with a vengeance. And gained everything back I'd lost, plus a little more.

Ack!

I'm bound and determined not to let that happen again. So maybe that's why I'm not making huge strides with the weight loss yet. I'm making small changes every week that will allow me to continue on with this as an overall lifestyle instead of a radical quick diet. Yes, I still have days I'm really frustrated I'm not seeing a bigger difference. But do I feel leaner. My muscles are changing. I'm thinning out even if I'm not seeing huge differences. It's taking me a while to wrap my head around it all.

My nutritionist keeps reminding me I didn't put it on overnight, I can't take it off overnight. (I think when I watch too much Biggest Loser is when I get the most bummed about my own slow progress, but I know that's relatively unrealistic. Oh speaking of which, last night I met the mother of one of the current contestants on the show. Apparently she goes to my gym. Huh, who knew? That was pretty cool.) She also reminded me that replacing the foods she's suggesting with what I have instead will keep me fuller longer and I won't tend to overeat as much. When she really explained it, it did make sense. I guess I just feel like I'm not going to be able to do it.

But I'm bound and determined to do it anyway.


So much so that I went and bought a 32 oz Pepsi this morning to wake me up.

My determination ebbs and flows.
 
Maybe I'll get this before I die. Man am I glad in Heaven we will be given new bodies that are perfect. No more worrying about this stuff. Yay! But in the meantime, I have to at least try to give it everything I've got so that I can truly honor God with this body.

Check out more Losing It posts at Giving Up on Perfect.