Reality

I am so exhausted.

Drained.

Overwhelmed.

Anxious.

Panicked.

And yet also freakishly calm when I'm having a rational moment.

Water-logged.

Chicago's flooding of a few days ago has left disaster in its wake. Directly effecting my beloved workplace in devastating ways.

Stressed out to the max.

Overwhelmed is really an understatement.

Brain explosions occurring from a breastfeeding class, childbirth class, and a Baby Fest at our local library. All done in the past week. All leaving in their wake huge amounts of information to go through.

So many conversations over the past couple of weeks between me and hubster. So. many.

Crazy amounts of huge decisions.

A house that refuses to just get up and organize itself.

Fear of the unknown threatens to envelop me.

But given the amount of information I've learned in my 12.5 years of preparing for a child... I'm actually really okay for the significant amount of info I knew going into this.

This week starts my once-a-week doctor's appointments up until baby arrives. They're keeping a close eye on me for a variety of reasons. I'm actually okay with this at this point.

One big fear is bed rest or baby coming super early. So knowing week-by-week that baby is okay, that's a good thing.

Ultimately I know God's in control and I trust him. That's really what I need to stay focused on.

I'm trying....


[Sorry this blog has suddenly become very much a pregnancy / children blog. I'm sorry, and yet also kinda not. Please bear with me....]