A Whole Lotta Random

it's been a weird month, yo!

i've been all over the place, lots of little cooky things going on. so yes, it's going to be a long, random post with odd pictures here and there. and it's going to be a lazy one without caps. you'll survive. i'm tired. ;)

as i start typing this on friday night, i'm just enjoying the sweet quiet stillness of our home. while tim reads news stories to me from his phone that i'm only partially listening to as i type while laying on the couch and sipping my favorite tea from the local tea shop. precious.

we are entering a relaxing, lowkey weekend. another one. i'm so thankful for the regularness of these in the winter months because later in the year they become a rarity.

we've been so blessed with a mild winter, but i'm also thankful march isn't dragging on and on, and that we've gotten some really good weather lately! this week one day the high will get up to 77. now, that's a bit too much for march in my opinion, but i am really enjoying it all nonetheless. just keep bringing on the 50s and i'll be peachy.

i ate some chicken pot pie last saturday and burnt my tongue like 4 different times. my tongue hasn't been the same since. i've been able to drink hot chocolate and hot tea a lot easier this week since my mouth isn't as sensitive.

my body always revolts when the time changes. i like more daylight at night, but i hate it being darker again in the morning, blarg. and my fibro just seems to hate change of any kind, no matter what. here comes two weeks of fibro flare-ups, guaranteed. days of getting to work late. days of taking the elevator more at work. days of pushing through the pain to just come home and collapse on the couch.

we went to church last night {saturday, when i wrote this section} so we got to sleep in a little this morning. that means the first day we'll really feel the daylight saving time effect is tomorrow {monday} when we head to work. perhaps we should have had a change in strategy.
{just as expected, it was nearly impossible to get up on monday for work. tuesday was even worse. ughhhhhh.}

last saturday we went to ace hardware for a free quart of their new primer & paint in one for our basement spare room. we got the color "roasted squash" which looks a bit more peach than we wanted, so we'll see. it's meant to be more of an orange/gold/brown type combo. hmm.

this friday night we painted a patch on the drywall that's up and let it dry to see what we think. it's SO hard to tell from just a block of paint! but i think we're going to go with it. it really looks good with one of the pictures i'd purchased on black friday! :)

the rest of last weekend was spent doing other house projects, cleaning up in preparation for a house guest, and for me lots of shopping and organizing as i prepped for a coworker's baby shower on monday night after work.

on monday for lunch a few lady coworkers and i were going to have lunch together. one of them needed to talk to the other 3 of us about something. we were all nearly bursting as we waited to hear what was going on. it was also odd that she was very specific on where she wanted to eat {she's not usually like that} but we just couldn't figure out what was going on.

first, let's backtrack a little... last july i found out one of my best friends, annemarie, was moving away to washington and i was in denial. then in september we helped them move.

so when coworker karen told us she had to talk to us about something and we walked into the restaurant ready for a meal and to hear what she was going to say...

and instead...

annemarie was standing there saying "surprise!"...

my jaw dropped. it took a minute to register that she was actually standing in front of me.

we hugged. i cried.

and i didn't stop hugging her at every moment that i could. it still doesn't seem real.

was i dreaming??

it went too fast. we had an hour plus a little bit more time alone as she drove me back to work behind the other girls. it was sweet and special.

oh what a blessing!

i'm still blown away. it knocked my socks off. what a great, great, great surprise!!!!

but i had to pull it together really fast as i was helping cohost a baby shower for a super, sweet, wonderful coworker/friend right after work. which was also amazing.

i was in charge of decorations, games, door prizes, sign-in, getting the group gift, and the gifts list at the shower. all of which i absolutely love doing!

since erika is crafty, i had the sign-in on scrapbook paper where people could fill out more than just their name, they could give advice, well wishes, etc. i also wrote her gift list on scrapbook paper so that she can put together a cool scrapbook for baby when it's all done.

the beautiful erika who is our fabulous assistant to the president. she's amazing and we all love her!!

it was a really good time, and all of us ladies really love excuses to get us all together! :)

not the best pic perhaps because it was my cell phone, but alas, it's all the hosts together with our guest of honor so it's special regardless. love these ladies!

we cleaned up and then i waited about an hour at work before my guest for the week arrived. tara, one of our off-site editors, was going to be in from monday night to thursday morning, and i was soooo looking forward to having her! she arrived at work by car service about 8 pm monday and we headed to our house to get her settled and to catch up.

it was really fun to have a girl to get ready for work with for several mornings and to have a companion in the car! i loved it!! tara is such a sweetheart and i've really grown to love her dearly over the years. i think what really helps is that she also has a chronic illness, severe fatigue, and struggled with infertility for 10 years. we relate to each other so incredibly well that it was like almost having a bit of a twin here! even tim commented one evening "well you just fit right into our family!" love it! so glad he enjoyed having her here too and it was not stressful.

{admittedly though, whenever we have guests we love having them, but we are also thankful for when they're gone! ;) }

with tuesday morning came a HUGEEEE relief so i had to take a screen shot of my phone the exact moment that i received the text, because it's just a really big deal....

WHEW!!! PRAISE GOD!


{I'm writing this on a new day and just came back to reread this and noticed I changed my capitalizating. I know I'm going to drive some people bonkers with this post, but I really hope you'll forgive me. It's been one of those weeks and I just don't have it in me to go back and edit it again.}

Shortly after that text I had a meeting with a couple coworkers and one of my very favorite authors! What a perfectly timed reminder of how much I dearly love and enjoy my job. It was such a delight to meet with him! I was like a giddy teenager... :)

I took him back to one of our designers to talk about the new map that will need to be drawn up for the front of his latest fiction book, and it was sooo much fun to watch them go through the details!

So I couldn't help but be giddy this weekend when I just had to bring a little bit of work home with me. Heeheehee.

On Tuesday afternoon Tim's brother Paul was back to work a little bit on our basement room again. We came home to a new window, so we were excited about that!

Tuesday night was interesting. I can't say much here, but let me just say I'm thankful for one very low-key, laidback, chilled-out house guest!!! Tara was amazing! We enjoyed some sweet time together later that night after the interesting drama and she kindly let us show her the Chuck finale {she'd stopped watching at season 3, so she had a sense of what was going on}. Good, good stuff!!

Wednesday, Tara & I definitely needed our doses of caffeine {thank you Starbucks} as we both wanted to just go back to bed!! It was a crazy busy day at work and I was exhausted by the end of it all. Tara had a dinner planned with our boss, Al and his wife, whom she's known for many years since they'd worked together at a previous company. So while she did that, I had a great time hanging out at Brian & Monica's. I got some sweet time with Parker & Nolan. The only picture I grabbed though was a moment on the couch with Parker as we watched Curious George.

Love.

Did I mention that all of my lunches last week were also full? I barely had a chance to breathe lol!

Thursday morning Tara & I got a little extra sleep, and we were ready surprisingly fast so we headed out early for Midway airport. Have I ever told you before that this country girl loves going to the airport?

Yes, you read that right. I'm an airport geek. I love it. Really, really love it.

I giggle and nearly explode in glee.

It might be crazy, but the one I really get a kick out of is O'Hare. It is one crazy airport, but trust me if you've ever had to drive around or be around or even slightly take a peek at LAX, O'Hare is a cakewalk. LAX makes me want to hyperventilate.

O'Hare is a hoot.

Anyway, enjoyed the trip and extra time with Tara before dropping her off and whipping my way back to work. I remember the times I was scared of driving the interstates near where I grew up where there wasn't traffic but just the extra lanes were intimidating. Oh how far I've come....

Then poof, Thursday was over. It's amazing how getting to work a couple hours late can do that to ya.

That night I decided it was a nice enough day for a car wash, without any rain in the immediate forecast, and after having added a good amount of gook to my car after driving around the city & expressways. I'm one of those who loves automated car washes, especially one at a Shell station near my work. Seriously, love. It's sooo relaxing and I really wish it would last longer. So funny because everyone is always in a hurry and you want it done soon - but truly, I wish those things were longer. *sigh*

I can't totally explain the funk I was in on Thursday though. It was a combination of events that lead me to feeling the way I did and posting that mom club post. I really appreciated all the comments, emails, and conversations about it though - God is good! I'm not worried friends, I know God has a plan for us. But thanks for letting my blog be a place of comfort and healing for me when I need to just get my thoughts and feelings out there.

Friday came and went in a whirlwind. Had a good day. Fun times with friends at lunch. Painted some of our basement room when we got home, as you saw above. Enjoyed a nice weekend together, reconnecting after company and enjoying just hanging out together, and getting more house projects done. I've just been really thankful to have the energy to do all this! We even enjoyed time together fixing up our flower garden!

The leaves and gook that were around all our flowers for the winter {I'd heard a long time ago that this helps fertilize the flowers/soil during the cold winter months} are all cleaned up now. And of course I took a picture before we cleaned it up, but not after. Doh!

We also cleaned up our bedroom and replaced our bed frame. We've spent a lot of time looking for a new mattress and we thought we'd settled on something, but still the price always makes us take a second look. Tim did some research and found out that getting a new frame can really help breathe new life into a mattress. So we got a new one, ditched the box springs, and wham! New life to our 10 year old bed!

And yes indeedy, I was surprised to also find out after a few nights that this really does seem to work!!


I don't know how long this will go for, but for now it's working great!

You may notice that we have blue walls and pink carpet.... 


The blue walls were our idea to match our bedding, but the pink carpet was there from the previous owner {who had bright pink walls to match it} and it was in such great shape and hidden by our king-size bed in our queen-size room so we opted to leave it alone.

Saturday night after church we had a wonderful date night, with super yummy food at Red Robin. I should not have taken part in eating this... but it was soooooo good, it's hard to care, lol.

Followed that up with some marvelous Cold Stone ice cream! We had a really good time reconnecting and focusing on each other and building up our marriage. It was really nice!

We were very excited at church to pick up our copy of the DVDs from this controversial conference that our pastor lead back in January. I was at last year's event and even though I knew there was some hype over the type of event it was, ultimately it honored God, exalted the name of Jesus Christ, and got a lot of people talking. This time, the hype was mostly negative and all in response to one person who was invited to speak there.

We weren't able to be there this year, but we read a lot of blogs, tweets, and concerns from multitudes of people. I cried a lot and got sick to my stomach for days when it all started. It effected me more deeply than I could even put into words at the time. We prayed. I talked to people involved who we deeply trust and respect, both at work {since some of it is directly linked to my work} and at church. We sought out a lot of wisdom and counsel. We spoke with our campus pastor and an elder.

I'm not going to specifically name the event on here because I don't want that kind of publicity or controversy here, that's not what my blog is about. So those of you reading this not getting here by a search engine, you can see the picture below and see what it's called, and google it if you want. But I caution you to read with a grain of salt the various things being said and debated, and grab your Bible.

Those of you who know me personally know that this really, really hit me hard. All that you really need to know is that we went through the steps that we needed to in order to make sure we understood the heart of our pastor and the others involved. We may not agree with everything he says and does, but we know our pastor to be a godly man who follows his convictions but who also apologizes when he knows he has done wrong. We support him, love him, and pray for him and his family regularly. We are not changing churches, we are not changing our support of him, and we are not saying anything more than that. This controversy is too close to home for me to say much this publicly. Those who know me and know my email address, feel free to email me and I'm happy to talk with you more one-on-one.

Anyway... starting to watch what really transpired at the event has been really good. Being able to figure it out for ourselves and know how to respond personally instead of just hearing about it from everyone else was also really, really good.

And now, here we are already in the midst of another week. I'm not sure where the time goes! I hope you are all doing really well and having a good time living life and enjoying what God has surrounded you with!

Thanks for sticking with me through a blindingly long post and random topics!

Random Thoughts

**As I type this {well, as I started typing it... now it's about 24 hrs later}, my favorite little Parker guy is napping in the other room. I'm babysitting this afternoon while his parents hang out and get some time to themselves. I always love watching him, but the reality of my Fibro & how big he is getting always hits and fear creeps in. I am struggling. I know it. But I don't want to miss out on special time with this guy if I can help it. So I power through, and rest up afterwards.

**I put my gym membership on hold this week. It was really hard. I was going to cancel, but when I walked through the door I just couldn't do it. I poured out a lot of sweat and dealt with a lot of stuff in that place. I'm pretty sure it's time to move on, but I just couldn't quite let it go. When I found out I could put it on hold for $10 a month, I did that instead. I'm thinking it over this month and will decide for sure. No more letting time or money slip away, it's just too important. I'm tired of letting myself get away with life getting so busy that I'm not taking care of me, but I also really struggle with making it stop. Ideally I'd work out in the mornings, but I hate mornings and my body doesn't want to cooperate then. I'm still working on figuring all of this out. I've heard the wide array of options, what works for Fibro and what doesn't, etc etc. I know what my choices are, it's just a matter of finding out what best works for me. The stress & strain of working out that hard & intensely for over a year completely burnt me out!! So I'm rethinking my strategy and trying to sort through the mess of emotions that goes along with it for me.

**We had a great annual company picnic yesterday {Friday now} - I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, despite the heat! Thankfully it wasn't as hot as it's been sometimes, but it was a bit humid. Kudos to all the soccer players who persevered through it! Wow. I have some amazing pictures. I get so far behind on them that this time last night I went home to immediately start working on them so I could get it done this weekend and stay on top of it, and the pictures won't transfer from my camera to my computer, ughhh!! Tim has done a great job of trying to figure it out {with a long phone call last night to their troubleshooting hotline} and we'll see what happens. The memory card appears to be corrupt. I'd not had any problems with it prior to yesterday so this is frustrating. It's a new camera!! Grrr. Hopefully we'll get that sorted out soon, there are some great shots I can't wait to share!

**The BIG issue(s) I was asking prayer for recently was in regards to a family issue I can't say much about here. But we're working through it and we do appreciate your continued prayers!

**My uncle's surgery on Thursday for removing part of his lung that had a melanoma spot on it went well. They got home yesterday and he's doing okay, but is still pretty uncomfortable. Thanks for your prayers!

**We are so thankful for this reprieve from travel & guests, as we get a lot of stuff done around the house and in our lives. Unfortunately one big fix last weekend with my car seems to have reappeared again this week, grrr! But alas, such is life. I'm still just very thankful for my car. I've also made several trips to Goodwill with items we haven't used in a long time. It's been very freeing to have the time to sort out closets and such. Although, looking at the next few weeks it's hard to believe we're already booked with something going on each weekend but at least we aren't traveling!!

**Taking each day as it comes. Still trying to figure stuff out. But clinging to God harder & deeper than I have ever done before. He is so faithful & true, no matter our doubts or frustrations. He is SO good!

A Sad Impending Farewell & Other Random Thoughts

Today one of my best friends, Annemarie, officially announced at work that she'll be moving to Washington in early September.

I've known about it for a while now, but not being able to openly talk about it has been pretty tough. 

It's one of the 'things' I've been telling you about recently that has been bothering me that I couldn't talk about. I didn't even share it with Tracie or Monica, although I could have since we all run in different circles, because I was in denial.

You know, just in case they changed their minds or got whacked on their noggins.

Today it became official.

I want to be supportive and encouraging to her, so I try really hard not to openly share all those bittersweet feelings too much with her. It's an exciting time for her & hubby Brandon, as God is clearly and so evidently opening doors for them there and leading them to live near Brandon's family. But it's also really quite a bummer for Tim & I as we have really enjoyed hanging out with them as couples, we understand each other & are in similar stages of life without kids.

Annemarie quickly became a very close friend, and gets my sense of humor and laughs crazy hard at my jokes. I have to say, I love her for that!!! :)

She & I have lunch together at least once or twice a week, with the occasional outings, spontaneous stuff, random shopping excursions, and evenings of me taking her home after work where we'd sit in the car talking for the better part of an hour. It's kind of like a part of my heart is moving to the other side of the country.

The night these pics were taken a couple of weeks ago was a very sweet evening after work. We had ice cream, cried together in the parking lot, laughed a lot together, and hugged each other til we thought we might die. We are going to miss each other so very, very much!

Annemarie even admits she doesn't do long distance well. Really, she stinks at it. So I'm trying to bite my tongue, but I do worry what this means for our dear, sweet, wonderful friendship.

After all, she can say "yo yo yo whass up whass up" and "you're the bomb diggity" like no one else on this planet.

We already had to say farewell to the other 2 in our group - Katie & Leif who moved to Florida - in December. Now, it's Annemarie & Brandon's turn and I'm still in shock that it is actually coming true.

The 3 shopping amigos are no more. And shortly they will be divided clear across the country.

We joke about a reunion in Colorado.

And I question whether or not I'll really see either of them again this side of heaven.

For the record, I love you girls {and your hubbies}, and hope this is just the beginning of something even better for all of us.

Oh. this. is. so. tough.

*sob*

----

Change is really, really hard. There's been a lot of change happening in the lives of the people around me while my life stays put. It's hard. It's hard to let go. I've been reading Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity book which has really been helping me - see the quote of the week in the sidebar for the quote that's impacted me the most in recent weeks.

*sigh* I'm just really ready for some good news!!!

----

My Fibro flare-up seems to have subsided, finally. A 4-day battle that thankfully lifted, for now. Only God knows! But I'm glad it wasn't longer!! I wasn't sure this morning if I was going to make it, but while I dearly {dearly!} miss my friends Brian & Monica & buddy Parker, their home became a haven for me today as I desperately needed a quiet place to retreat and think away from the chaos of my life. I hope that doesn't mean they don't hand over their spare key to me during their next trip away. :)

----

The heat wave of last week with real feels of over 100/110 changed my perspective on the heat a bit. Today I walked outside in the midst of 87 degrees and went "ahhhh!!!" And if you know me at all, you know that's amazing. Usually anything over 80 is really bad!

----

We have taken a hiatus on traveling and having guests for a couple of months {my brother gets the only exception to the rule} and we are loving it!!! We needed a serious break. Now it's time for projects around the house, which have admittedly gotten pretty overwhelming. I was so sad this weekend meant only one minor desk project, but I'm still happy I got something done despite the nasty flare-up! Hopefully the coming weekends will mean lots and lots of stuff getting done around the house.

Random thoughts

* some really tough things going on both with family & close friends. breaks my heart.

* hubby had a wisdom tooth extracted this afternoon as well as a partial root canal, he's not doing great, please pray he recovers and can get some sleep. he's having a lot of bleeding, i spoke with the oral surgeon and it's not concerning but it's still hard. please pray i'll have strength to care for him as he needs. i'm still not totally up to par from before the flu.

* my blood pressure was really high at the eye doctor's this afternoon. i have this problem sometimes, it's whenever i'm in a doctor's office and i have anxiety. i have a monitor at home to make sure i'm okay on a regular basis. generally speaking i am {and i do take medicine for it, specifically because of the spikes}, but please pray i find ways to alleviate my anxiety about doctors. i have to see them often enough, i hate that i struggle with this. did i ever mention that i'm a hypochondriac? i'm still amazed sometimes that God allowed someone like me to get Fibromyalgia, but he gently reminds me he's using it to humble me and to teach me to trust him.

* i've not had any soda since i got the flu, which considering my usual several sodas a day, is pretty phenomenal. i've had a little caffeine via tea, but of course that's healthier!

* i've been eating a lot less since having the flu, today was my first day back with real foods. i finally got to have my Easter dinner tonight!!

* watching NCIS repeats on TV = happiness. hearing hubby's groans of pain from the recliner behind me = sadness.

* so psyched for our vacation to California next week. absolutely. cannot. wait. then i think about the airplane part and i remind myself to pack my anti-anxiety and high blood pressure pills. i don't mind the flying part, but there are just certain aspects of the process that make me anxious. usually once we're there and in the seats or up in the air, i'm fine {so long as i take my tylenol sinus pills so my head doesn't explode}.

* wishing there was more time in the day for me to make all the phone calls and personal visits i need to make right now with family & close friends.

* longing so desperately to hold my new nephew Joshua. breaks my heart i can't be there.

* busy week at work, crazy with moving the Bible team away from our area to an area slightly farther back on the same floor. i miss them already. they were some of my daily entertainment and interactions. and i miss hearing what's going on with our Bible products from just a few feet away while i'm doing my work! now it takes some effort. :( it's eerily quiet with the 6 of them moved out and their spaces empty... for now. i'm thankful for the growth though, and their new offices are really cool!

* wishing there was more time in the day for me to clean and organize the craziness out of my house. and more energy in my body. i have so many ideas of what i want to do, but they're just stuck in my head for now.

* have had so many blog post ideas but just can't keep up with this either. i miss keeping up with all the other blogs i love too. instead i've kept it to a basic top 15 now. i just have too much else going on.

* great lunch today with a dear friend. looking forward to a girls night friday with another dear friend. looking forward to a baby shower for another dear friend on sunday! so thankful for the godly, wonderful women in my life!

* 7 lbs lost. flu diet not recommended.

* still really struggling with what to do in regards to weight loss/exercise. it's been a big deal. it's really hard and super detailed to explain, so let me just say i'd appreciate your prayers and encouragement in this regard! :)

* if you didn't get to see my Easter post below, please check it out. you may even find a recipe you want to try!

ramblings

so much to say

so little energy

weekend away

relaxing

came back

broken furnace

really cold house

reminders of God's grace in the midst

remembered to pray for those less fortunate

without shelter or heat

so grateful for a wood-burning stove 

to keep us warm

and for 25 degrees above overnight

instead of 20 degrees below

and for our good friend sherah's husband marty

and his HVAC expertise, sheer genius, 

& ability to get here so quickly this morning to help

two nights of very little sleep

so exhausted

worked from home today

resting

otherwise doing well

brain not processing thoughts very coherently

should be a good week

busy at work

lunches full with good friends

my dad is coming next Thursday

and i'm taking Friday off to hang out with him

something to look forward to

here i am with sherah & marty's son charlie last monday at lunch

Randomness

** I wrote my latest post {Just Being Real} last night when I was feeling really wretched, and I had scheduled it to automatically post this afternoon. So while every day this week has been hard, I'm really thankful that today it eased up a bit. Whew! I had some weird light-headedness and weakness this afternoon, and some randomly odd eye twitching, but otherwise it really wasn't too bad. My stress level at work today lessened too so I'm sure that played a slight role.

** I've had an extraordinary day with very sweet friends and it made it so extra special that nothing else really mattered. I had lunch with Monica & Sherah, two lovely ladies who I worked with for a couple years until their kiddos came along. I'm so thankful to still be in touch with them regularly and to love on their kids! We had a really sweet time of fellowship and play! 

Then tonight I took a coworker home via a quick Starbucks run, then back to her couch to enjoy my Peppermint hot chocolate & brownie, and she enjoyed her caramel apple something {coffee idiot here since I detest coffee, blech} and apple fritter, while we laughed hysterically to comedian Gabriel Iglesias. I laughed so hard I was pretty sure my head was going to explode, I couldn't breathe, and I might just pee my pants. Yep, that funny. :) And oh boy did I ever need that good hearty laugh! My friend Annemarie is such a delight and spending time with her after work really wrapped up a very nice day. 

** My heart is heavy for my friend Sherah & her family as they grieve the loss of her aunt last week. Please read more about her lasting legacy here. 

** My heart is heavy for my Uncle Bill and his continued fight with stage 4 melanoma. I love my uncle to pieces and it's so hard to watch. Today's update from my aunt as they're at Mayo Clinic is that he's getting his latest surgery stitches out. We are really thankful that he's done with his radiation and the surgery seems to have been a success! Please pray with us that he doesn't find anymore lumps, and for wisdom with continued treatment plans!! Please also pray for my amazing Aunt Robin, she's been so great through this process but I know it's been super hard. Also for their kids Holly & Mary, my terrific cousins, and their families.

** Please pray for my sister-in-law Jeremi {my brother's wife}. She's due with baby #3 {their first boy} at the end of April, but toward the very beginning developed a painful hernia that really can't be resolved until after the baby is born. She's in tremendous discomfort and pain, and your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I just adore her and hate that she's going through this. :(

** My head surprisingly hurts. A lot. I didn't realize how sensitive my forehead must be until Parker accidentally smacked me in the head at lunch with the corner of a hard block. For some reason, the spot has been sore since then and throbbing some this evening. I even have a little welt. Random. Weird.

** Tomorrow I get to have lunch with 3 coworkers/friends and I'm really looking forward to hanging out with them. 1 of them is a new coworker and I'm so excited to get to know her. 

** This weekend we have nothing going on, but I hope to get some stuff done around the house! We want to finish remodeling our basement bedroom after this summer's flooding, as well as our upstairs bathroom. I'm not sure how long these projects will take or if we'll ever get them done, but maybe we can slowly start working on this stuff during these slower winter month weekends. Here's to hoping! I also hope to catch up on some organizing of pictures, blog posts for the week, meal plans/grocery shopping, workout plan, and finishing read two of my books! Shwoosh, okay so maybe that won't all happen this weekend, lol!

** Here's a video of Gabriel's comedy {the guy I said I was watching tonight with my friend}. This clip is one I just love, in part because I can somewhat appreciate his viewpoint. I don't wholeheartedly agree, but he does make a good point, and well... he's just so hilarious. Enjoy! :)

Stream of Thoughts

It's chilly and rainy outside. A perfect November day. A busy week of work but it was also great. I am very happy and blessed to be working on so many wonderful projects. I'm covering for a couple different people, so it's been a wee bit insane, but I love it all. I just ate a handful of Bugles left over from our recent trip away. I love gas station snacks. Stuff I don't otherwise buy unless on a road trip. Currently watching I Love Trouble {with Nick Nolte & Julia Roberts} on TV. Older movie that I enjoy but haven't seen in a while. Really enjoyed the episode of Blue Bloods on CBS last night. Good stuff. Looking forward to my dad's arrival, which should be in the next half hour or so. Doing a poor job of getting through my reading list. Still on my first book. But enjoying my time in our Daniel Beth Moore Bible study so that and reading my Bible get my first priority. It's a really good, deep, impactful study. We got up earlier than usual today and cleaned our house despite dad ordering us not to do anything extra for him. But having guests gives extra motivation to clean, so we did because we were tired of the mess. Life gets away from us with 10-12 hours away from home a day, plus some. I can't decide where to take dad for lunch. After that he wants some help buying some clothes and shoes, which I'm happy to do. I have a million pictures to catch up on. I always feel behind. I'm having a ton of Fibro pain, with severe cramping/pulling in my left knee and ankle. My left leg has really been bothering me. But life goes on. Our front tree always turns colors later than most trees. It starts turning red at the top as the sun hits it over the top of our house for a while, then the rest of it starts slowing turning, and finally it all turns orange. Today it is suddenly a beautiful bright orange, and I love it! Too bad the leaves are falling off so quickly. When it turns like this I always wish it would stay that way for a while. Time to finish getting ready for dad's visit. Have a great day everyone!

November... Really? - Random Thoughts

I can't believe it's already November. That just seems impossible. But whatever, let's roll with the punches. Halloween is over, Thanksgiving is coming, and Christmas is right around the corner. The air is crisp and cool, the breeze calming, and we even had our windows open during the day this weekend! I love this weather. 50s is uber terrific in my book. I'm excited for this season!.... Okay, I'm working on it. I'm a little dreading the impending winter, but I'm trying not to let it get me down!

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I am very, very, very sad yet another coworker friend of mine is moving away. She's quickly become one of my nearest and dearest friends. I'm in complete denial and refusing to let her go.

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I found out a couple weeks ago that my nutritionist left the fitness center I go to. I had no idea. She didn't tell me. I was really, really bummed for several days after I found out. I was hurt, offended, and confused. A 'soulmate' find of sorts when it comes to the nutrition world. She's even amazing at counseling and consoling me. We are like kindred spirits in a way. Really, I was devastated. Felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

Then we chatted on Facebook a few days later, and she said some things that really made sense. I'm happy for her, just sad for me, ya know? {Same thing with the above mentioned friend.}

Somehow I have to find my own way now, and learn from everything she taught me. E-mail and Facebook just isn't the same, even though I am thankful I have ways to still stay in touch with her. Bless her heart, I'm so glad she'll still answer my nutrition/freaking-out-moment questions!

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On a similar note, I have some tough decisions to make soon regarding all the health-related, fitness and nutrition stuff. You guys are so great about praying for me, would you pray about this for me too? I am really conflicted and need some clear direction from the Lord to know what to do. Thanks, you guys are all super duper!! 

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Hubster and I had a delightfully wonderful and relaxing weekend. We hung out a lot, got stuff done around the house, went out on a date, and celebrated Halloween the way he likes to. By pretending it doesn't really exist and escaping the house so he doesn't have to deal with the whole trick-or-treating thing.


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I went shopping on Saturday. It's amazingly theraputic. Ran myself straight into an outdoor shopping center's Halloween fest. Soooo crowded! Contests, each store passing out candy, face painting, pumpkin carving, oodles of costumes on people and their dogs {that is so wrong but so cute}. In the midst of it all was a farmer's market where I got some delightful goodies including some apple cider donuts I shared with my coworkers today.

Got some new hand soap for our bathroom from Bath & Body Works {mmmm love their cucumber melon foaming hand soap, it's the bomb diggity}. Got some fun stuff at L. L. Bean including a new shirt for hubster {he wore it on our date and he looks super snazzy in it}, stocked up on my all-time favorite chapstick, got a new water bottle that I hate {but thought I'd love}, and a gift for my mom.

My mom's 60th birthday is coming up soon and we're traveling back to my hometown to throw her a party this next weekend {but it's not a surprise like my dad's was so I'll stay a little more sane in the planning}. I can't believe my parents turn 60 just a month apart, they could have planned it better, lol! My stepdad turned 70 in the middle of their two birthdays. Our second to youngest nephew turns 1 tomorrow. I cannot believe it. He has grown like a weed. More on that tomorrow. It's been a crazy season of celebrations for sure!

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It's amazing what shaving your legs, tweezing your eyebrows, cleaning your contacts, and cleaning & rearranging your nightstand and dresser can do for your self-esteem. I mean really, it's just insane how incredibly refreshed you feel when you get a chance to pay attention to yourself.

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I thought I'd brag on hubster a bit. :) I added a page to the above tabs called "About Hubster". Go ahead, learn about my better half and the best friend I have on planet earth. He's a pretty cool guy. I think I'll keep him around.

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We went to see Life As We Know It yesterday in the theatre. I'll try to post a real review of it soon, but the short end of it is: really. insanely. ridiculously. FUNNY. I was laughing soooo hard at one point I couldn't breathe and started snorting. And I didn't care. It was that funny. It was also incredibly touching and I was practically bawling toward the end.

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I had my annual physical last Friday morning. I loveeeee my doctor. She's amazing, godly, and fun. I'm still in awe sometimes that I've been blessed with her. I liked my previous doctor okay, but she left and they brought in this new lady. When I read the information brochure about her to see if I wanted to give her a try or go to a new doctor's office {cuz I knew I didn't like the other one in this same office}, she had good credentials, and then I saw that she attends a good, solid, Bible teaching church here. So I was intrigued and gave her a whirl. Best. decision. ever. And that was about a year and a half ago, but I'm just now realizing just how amazing she is. Really, she's extraordinary. She's knowledgeable on Fibro, is a strong Christian but is also really understanding like about my anxiety issues, and is very easygoing. Those of you with chronic illness know just how important your doctor becomes. It's a really big deal to me that my doctor is so great.

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My Fibro was awful last week. I don't know if I had the flu or not, but my Fibro was definitely freaking out. Glad that's over! This week seems to be {at least so far} much better! Indeed, I think it does help to be so relaxed and ready to dive in after a great weekend.

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I am sooo ready for tomorrow's election to be over with! Unending political ads on TV, so much mail, too many phone calls, and millions of dollars spent senselessly while trying to get our votes and it's all actually a major turn-off for me to even want to vote anymore. I used to be passionate about politics and making a difference. But don't worry, I'm voting, and I hope you are too!

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All my best to each of you! Hope this finds you all doing well! Thank you all for your recent comments, I can't tell you how much it means to me. Comments warm my heart like an ooey gooey fudgey brownie sundae. :)

Real Honesty

I have been incredibly miserable. Confused. Depressed-ish. Frustrated. Scared. So pathetically sick. All mixed with happy. Delighted. Joy.

And more confusion.

Just the pattern I'm in right now. I know this too shall pass. I'm trying not to dwell on the negative thoughts. I'm working hard to stay focused on the Lord and his promises. But I must admit right now that it's an immense struggle.

I feel like I'm fighting to climb out of the valley, but I keep sliding back down. I want to get to the top... to be soaring on wings like eagles.

But that's not the reality... I'm in a valley in my life right now, and sometimes under the shadows of dark clouds... and other times I'm out in the rich sunlight, soaking in God's glory.

Today I feel under a dark cloud. I hope the sun comes again soon.

BLUR

It's all a bit of a blur

Everything moving so fast

Dizzy

Blurry

Spinning in circles

Rushing past

Will it ever slow down?

Will it stop rushing past?

Will I ever feel well again?

Oh to be normal

Oh to be well

Oh to stop this horrible blur

Rough days

This weekend was great but tiring. We saw Fireproof on Friday night... it was AMAZING. I highly recommend it for all married couples and anyone who wants to encourage a married couple in their lives!! It was serious, funny, emotional, light-hearted, dramatic, happy, sad, intense, wonderfully spiritual and godly, and any other emotion you can think of.

Saturday I went to a purse party with my dear friend Monica as the "coordinator" and my sweet friend Sarah as the hostess. Several coworkers were there, including a former coworker, and some of Sarah's relatives. It was a lot of fun and I'm so glad I went. Here are few pictures:

Monica showing us her purses and fabrics (homemade, custom-made)

Georgia (former coworker) with me

Georgia, Lydia, Michele, & I

Michele & I

Georgia & Erika

Me with my sweet buddies - Monica & Sarah

Sunday after church, we tried a Sleep Number bed at the mall (which was quite interesting... we're still undecided), then passed by our favorite restaurant Famous Dave's BBQ only to find that location closed (what a bummer!! ~ this is happening a lot lately!), then went to Linens N Things (one of our favorite stores that's closing) and bought a few things, had Jimmy John's sandwiches for lunch, and then went to the new Sports Authority by us and bought ourselves each a new bike helmet. We got home nearly 4 hours later. I was so exhausted and in pain that I had to lay down in bed for an hour and on the couch for another hour before I saw any relief. It was terrible.

It's so weird how sometimes being more active gives me some relief and more energy, and other times it makes me so much worse. It's so confusing.

So, I've had a really rough few days physically. I'm okay mentally, but physically I just want to lay in bed all day, every day. I have no energy, my legs feel like a mix of wet noodles and like boards getting hammered excessively, and today's worst flare-up is in my left shoulder. I don't know why I'm having this particular flare-up. Typing is agonizing but I'm pushing through it. I prayed all day long for God's strength where I had none, and he gave it to me, enough to get through my work day.

Every day... only by the grace of God....

Happy Columbus Day

Sometimes I wish we didn't have to work on any holidays, such as this one, but sometimes I'm very glad we do. Because so many people have today off, I got to work in a half hour!!! Love it!!

Today I want to reflect on what happened soooo many years ago when Columbus sailed the ocean blue and found this continent. I'm so glad he did! Here's a helpful link on the history of Columbus Day.

I hope you enjoy your Columbus Day - whether at work or at home with family, I hope today is a blessing for you.

Bad day

Today I am having a bad day. I cannot find my credit card anywhere. I panicked a little, checked online to make sure someone wasn't using it, panicked some more, turned my house upside down in search of it, and tried really hard not to panic. I know I can cancel it and get another one, but I'm so mad at myself for letting this happen in the first place. I should have paid more attention.

My prescriptions have not yet been posted from the other day at my doctor's when she faxed them in, so I'm frustrated and nervous that I'm going to run out of some things by the end of the week.

My doctor referred me to another rheumatologist, and yet again this one is not covered under my plan. Very discouraging.

Then I tried talking to my husband and he clearly wasn't in a talking or listening mood. Plus with having been sick so much, I feel disconnected from him and am having a hard time with it, but realize he needs his space sometimes too. [It's all better now, but it was hard nonetheless. Love you baby!]

Then I got an upsetting phone call.

Then I cried, and cried, and cried some more.

I hate it when I let myself get so upset by the little things, but when they all happen at the same time, I just get emotional and swayed by it. I knew immediately I needed to feed in God's Word, so that's exactly what I did. 2 Peter always speaks to me.

Now my hubby is tag-teaming with me and we are both cooking dinner, and enjoying each other's company while about to sit down for a nice evening of relaxing in front of the TV.

I hope you and yours have a blessed week!

Long time, no blog

Wow... where does the time go?! So much has happened over the past couple of weeks, I hardly know where to start. So... be prepared for a lengthy post and thank you for your patience.

I started feeling sick two weeks ago yesterday. I really started to feel better this past Monday (10/6) but even today (10/11) I'm still not at 100%. This thing is really hanging on! I went to my doctor last Wednesday on her first day back from vacation, just to see what I had. As you know from my last post, I was imagining the worst. My doc said I have a nasty virus. Thankfully it's not something like pneumonia, but on the downside, I can't treat this with any antibiotics so I remained miserable for quite a while. Even worse, I sounded ridiculously like a horse or frog. It was terrible. My voice still has a bit of a squeak to it, and a little bit of the cough remains... lingering... oh so frustrating! But I'm well on my way now to a full recovery.

My big thing in life: I hate disappointing people. I hate even the thought that maybe I'm disappointing them and they're too polite to tell me otherwise. I missed 5 days of work while sick and I missed the opportunity to do a lot of service at my church for a pastor's conference (I still did a lot, but not nearly as much as I wanted to, see a little more below). I work with a terrific team of people, so things moved along pretty well without me, but I still wish my getting sick came at a different time. I guess though, in really thinking about it, it's never really convenient to get sick. God reminds us when we need to slow down, rely on his strength, spend more time with him, and get some extra rest from our daily lives. He knows best, and whether or not I think it's convenient doesn't matter. God has the best in store for me... always... and most of all to bring more honor & glory to him.

On the upside, I did have a good time away two weekends ago, despite feeling so crummy.

One of the main reasons we went was for my old high school friend, Melissa's, bridal shower. I hadn't seen her since my wedding day 8 years ago!! Wow, it was great to see her.

Melissa & another h.s. friend Kristy

Melissa & I

Melissa and fiance' Andy

Being silly with their Mr & Mrs towels

My best friend Tracie's 13-month old Eve (short for Evangeline)
Tim with cutie Eve
Tracie, Logan (4), and Eve (1). Ben (hubby) was very sick most of the weekend and wasn't around much (and likely wouldn't want his pic taken)
Tim & I with our borrowed child :)
Mom and her wonderfully obedient dog, Bear, I just love her...

Bear staying and waiting for her nice piece of ham lunchmeat
Mom & I :)
Tracie & I :)
I have no explanation...

The weekend after that trip home [with a week in-between of feeling oh so sick] was the amazing Straight Up Conference at our church. I love this conference sooooo much!! I am there to serve the pastors and other ministry leaders attending, and I always come away as the one feeling ministered to and soooo abundantly blessed. This year, despite how sick I was, was much more special to me than any other one in the past (although they've all been great). In some ways it was special to me because it was in our newer building in the area we live in (so it was only 12 min away, instead of the usual 30-40) and closer to my heart. I think this building can hold the large group of attendees much better than the other, but I know there's a lot that goes into that. Anyway, I really liked it! It was also special because two of our big authors at work were speakers at this year's conference. I got some amazing pictures and will share a few of them here shortly.

This past week has been a roller coaster with my health, but as I've gotten better, it has been really nice to be back into my routine. God has been so good and has been reminding me of so many blessings in my life despite the difficulties. And I just simply love this season, even though my allergies hate it! I love the temperatures, the beauty of the trees, and the stillness/quiet that comes with it. I just don't look forward to the season after it!

I have so much else I want to say but I think I'll also hold off on that so I can at least get this post up and you can know I'm alive and finally feeling better. Thanks for caring and for your prayers!