Monday, January 5, 2009

Quick Update

I'm still at home. Can you believe it?!?!

I decided it would be wise to stay home one more day to allow my antibiotics to kick in a bit more and allow the drowsiness they cause to wear off a bit more. My voice is also still hoarse and cracking. Ribbit, ribbit... yep, that's me.

I have to admit it was a tough decision. I'm soooo ready to go back to work, and I can't believe I'm saying that! ;) It's not necessarily the work that I miss, although there are parts of that I certainly love and do miss... but it's the people and the interactions and the laughs and just talking with other people that I miss. Tim laughed at me last night as I was talking again about how badly I want to start trying to have a baby (especially now on antibiotics, which can make birth control pills not effective - hee hee - have to admit it is tempting... and no I'm not that evil, Tim knows but it was tempting even for him I think... I guess we're just starting to be at that place where maybe we are ready... now I just have to lose the weight...). And I mentioned again my desire to be a stay-at-home mom. He just laughed and told me he wasn't sure about that, given how antsy I've been this past week. Good point! Ha ha. But really, I still hope for that, and know that I would not have to be cooped up all the time and at least would have kids to take care of and be entertained by (I am not pretending that it's not very hard work, I understand that, but it's my heart's desire). This has been different in that I've been so sick, even cooking or cleaning was impossible because of all the coughing, much less really going anywhere... and I don't want to get anyone else sick. Aside from last week going to church and a quick shopping spree, and a visit to the grocery store on a day I thought I was better, and then the next day's trip to convenient care, I've been INSIDE 100% with just movies, TV, books, my Bible, writing letters, Facebooking, and blogging to entertain me.

Who wouldn't nearly go crazy from that?! I know a lot of people have to deal with it for various reasons, and it makes me sad for those people. Having friends or family nearby to interact with at least a few days a week is very important to me. I love my husband, but only being able to interact with him (and not be able to sleep with him because of my coughing) has been very hard. I miss my girls. ;) But even today, after 4 days of hubby spoiling me and taking care of me so well while sick, I started crying when I woke up and was coughing my head off only to have him not there to run in to me to make sure I had my cup of water nearby. Ohhh sweetie, how I miss you today!! And my heart aches to be able to share the bed with hubby again (we both admit we don't miss each other's snoring and fighting over covers, but come on, we totally miss each other and it's been reallyyyy hard to stay away, but I'm doing it for both of us so we can both sleep until I'm not sick anymore). It's been a long week, to say the least.

It's been good though... I've learned a lot from what God has been teaching me, and I've been growing in gratitude toward him and all he's given to me, but I'm ready to be done with being cooped up now. I'm pretty confident I'll be back at work tomorrow, with my husband dropping me off and picking me up so that I'm not driving with all this drowsiness. Now here's to hoping I don't drift off at my desk! Ha ha.

As far as Fibro goes, I'm not really sure what to say right now. Given that I haven't had a lot of moving around that I could do, the pain has certainly lessened for the most part. There are a few parts of me that I feel like are stiffening up from all the sitting around. Since I really want to lose the weight this year, I'm frustrated that I still haven't been able to try to pick back up on the exercising. I am not confident that it wouldn't bring on a ridiculous fit of coughing, or that it wouldn't make me lightheaded or dizzy (the meds cause drowsiness and dizziness). So for now that has to take a backseat until I'm totally better. I have a sinus infection and an ear infection in my left ear, in case I didn't tell you that....

Long story short... I've learned a lot this past week and a half, I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow, I have to allow myself a little time and understanding with the weight loss because of the antibiotics part of last week and this upcoming week, and while I'm not looking forward to dealing with Fibro head-on again, I am thankful for it and for what God has provided for me. I'm learning to thank him every day for the Fibro as it draws me closer to him and closer to my loved ones, and as it teaches me lots of new lessons I otherwise may have never learned. I know he has me going through this... at least for a season... for specific reasons that will bring glory and honor to him.



Monica Gee said...

Hey girlie - we miss you too! Come back tomorrow, please! Are we on for lunch? Even if it is low-key I just need to chat with you!!

momtofive07 said...

Hey you! I'm sorry you're still feeling sick. I'm intrigued by you talking about having a baby, I think you are going to be such a wondeful loving mama when it happens for you and Tim!