A New Hobby

Not long after turning 30, I started to get kind of antsy.

I had a harder time with 31 than I did with 30. At that point I started talking about the desire to try new things in my life and find things I'd enjoy that would somewhat take me back to my roots.

Perhaps that's why I get a bit misty-eyed every time I pass a horse.

I went shooting with my brother and dad and to the batting cage with my dad and best friend Tracie on my dad's 60th birthday in Oct 2010. That really got me even more fired up for more new stuff. It was all soooo cool and a great return to my roots!!!!

Now here's the thing... I've talked about wanting to try something like fishing for a while. For some reason it wasn't something we did growing up, but since I'm not near the woods and can't attempt hunting, playing capture the flag with my cousins, etc, I'm trying something I didn't do as a kid but that still takes me back to the country-like living with being outdoors, by the water, etc.

I'd managed to talk about it just long enough that last Fall my dad bought me a starter's fishing book. He also programmed his phone to remind me this May to take a class at a local outdoors store that would be holding classes. While those classes were cancelled for the year, I did learn of their Spring fishing weekend a few weeks ago. I'd been mulling over whether or not I'd be able to pop in to give it all a whirl.

At this point, I knew I wanted to try something new and outdoors-y, and I knew all I had to do was briefly mention it to my dad before he started pressing the subject and encouraging me to go and give fishing a real try.

After all, it's something he's always wanted to do but never did {and is now enjoying living vicariously through me!}.

So I went to L. L. Bean's big Spring fishing weekend where they had seminars, a big sale, and so on. I watched a guy do fly-tying for a while and he really helped me get into it, despite that it was overwhelming. I kept telling him and the other guy standing there that I was a beginner, but it didn't stop them from using a gajillion terms I didn't understand.

I admit I was thankful when I got to walk away from that craziness. Talk about baptism by fire - yipes! As a beginner I quickly learned starting with fly fishing would NOT be the way to go, no matter how much the guys at work talk about this as if it's the ONLY way to fish.


That ain't happening... at least not to start!

After doing some exploring and asking questions at L. L. Bean, I walked away, thought some, and I called to check with my dad to see what he thought and we had a good long talk about it. He said if I didn't end up liking it, he'd even buy the stuff off me. I'm doubting that'll happen, but still it's good to know, thanks dad!

So I went back over, determined to proceed before they closed at 6 for the night. I had an hour, so I thought I was good. But then Carl, their mega-into-it dude started teaching me everything he could in an hour. This guy was more my style as he slowly walked me through teaching me about the spin rod, helping me get the line into the rod, taught me how to tie several types of knots, tested me and had me keep redoing them, and finally ended with a parking lot lesson on how to cast. We barely wrapped up before 6, but thankfully they didn't mind me hanging past closing.

I seriously love that place. When I'm bored or homesick, all I have to do is walk around that store.

I was super excited but my head nearly wanted to explode by the time it was done.

But I still got to talk to my favorite manager there, Michelle, who helped talk me into it last Fall along with my dad, and she helped finalize my purchases, talked to me about going fishing with group outings there, etc. So I felt better and determined.

Next up, learn what to do after catching the fish since all they did was teach me what to do leading up to that point. 

And I bought some goods to get me started! :) Whoop whoop, sooo excited!!!!

To answer some questions I've been getting on Facebook... yes, I'll gladly touch the fish, gut them, do whatever, I don't care... but since around here the only recommended form of catching fish is catch-and-release {too much gook in the water and what not - and yes "gook" is the technical term....}, I think I'll be waiting a long time before I get to explore all that. Besides, I'd probably manage to leave a bunch of bones in there, which would be interesting but not fun for whoever is with me eating it! 

Tim is convinced I'm going to hate fishing since I hate watching baseball because it moves sooooo slowly. Trust me, there's a difference. And no, he does not want to go with me, not interested at all. 

I'm determined to love it but I was hesitant to get my fishing license for some reason. 

But this past Friday night after work I decided on a whim that I just had to do it. 

Now I'm legit! Look out fish!!! 

Siblings

In the midst of having trouble with Blogger and not being able to post any pictures, I'm going to be sharing some random posts that don't necessarily require pictures in the coming days.... I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about the importance of family, and friends-who-are-like-family, given the declining health of a very special family member. {But the posts won't necessarily have to do with that particular person.} So this week some reflective posts......

When I was maybe 10ish, my brother and I were in the midst of an argument while we were home alone one day.

I don't recall the details, but I remember I was really mad. 

So I went into the bathroom and slammed the door - partially to get away from him, and partially to also use the bathroom.

Unbeknownst to me, while I was fuming and hiding out, Tim was busy.

He quietly tied a rope from the bathroom door to the family room door so that the bathroom door would. not. open. when I tried to get out.

And oh my word, did I ever try to get out! I did not understand what was happening. At first I thought the door was stuck so I yelled at Tim to come help me.

Then I just heard laughter.

A. lot. of laughter.

Eventually after making me apologize and letting me out he showed me what he had done. I believe I was mad at first but then thought it was kinda funny. 

Eventually I started thinking that it was incredibly clever of him.

And now it's one of the funniest stories we recount together. What a fun memory! :)

Random Things About Me

Just for total fun :) and because I can't think of anything else quick to write about {this is a post I write constantly behind the scenes and just cut & paste a few things from it when I'm drawing a blank on interesting things to write about... ;)}:

* I love all the Hallmark Christmas movies

* I think snakeskin feels cool

* I've never tried lobster

* I have to look away from the TV whenever there are major car races and accidents

* I love monster truck races, but have developed such a sensitivity to car accidents in recent years that a few years ago at a county fair's demolition derby, I started to feel really sick to my stomach and we left early

* I'm much better at, and love, organizing other people's houses and lives rather than my own

* I hate crust - on pies, bread, most pizza, or pop-tarts

* I have permanent braces on my bottom back teeth

* I grew up having the only bedroom on the 2nd floor of a very old farmhouse with a tin roof, making lightning storms especially frightening

* I grew up traveling across all 48 continuous states for 2 weeks camping every summer; mom's goal is to get us to Alaska in 2014 and Hawaii in 2020

* I've never drank an ounce of alcohol or touched a cigarette {but yes I have other issues; this is in no way a judgmental statement so please don't take it that way!}

* A favorite pastime growing up was playing in the hay barn - now I have horrible allergies, and a severe one to hay, go figure

* I grew up with a couple of cats {one at a time}, loved cats, and now find them irritating {and am, yes, really allergic to them}

* I love horses and most dogs

* A dream home for me would be a log cabin with a wraparound porch to see the sunrise and the sunset over the fields, on a lakeside with a large white fence surrounding a horse barn with at least two weeping willows over a bench next to the lake

* I've gone shooting in an open field with my dad & brother, and loved it

* We loved playing capture the flag in the woods growing up or wading in the creek

* I've always had wayyyyy more shoes than I wear {although I did finally organized them recently and donated a bunch to Haiti and Good Will}

* I don't care about matching jewelry - I have a gold ring and a silver watch, who cares

* I'm about the least fashion-minded person I know - I have probably 10 shirts in the same style and I don't care... once I find something that works for my body type & I feel comfortable in, I have a hard time going to anything else

* While I don't mind trying new things, once I find a favorite at a restaurant {even if it's the first thing I tried}, because I love it so much, it's hard for me to try anything else there

* I have anxiety issues and panic attacks totally at random, even in situations that I tend to feel comfortable in, it can often take me by surprise {praise God for medicine or I'm sure I'd have had multiple hospital visits by now!}

* I'm extremely temperature sensitive, and get anxious even about things like going to get pedicures because inevitably the water is too hot, they use hot lotion & hot towels, urggg, not relaxing for someone like me so I've finally learned to be vocal so I can enjoy it! {New location the last time & loved it! I have to pay a little more for the service I have to get, but it's worth it to me to not be freaking out.}

* Despite that I can't do it often with the Fibro, my favorite form of exercise is cardio kickboxing

* My favorite type of book is fiction, and this year I've read every excellent Christian living book I could get my hands on and haven't touched a single fiction book... until recently after watching the movie, I borrowed the book The Help from a friend

* My recent music purchase is Switchfoot's greatest hits

* I cannot have bangs, they drive me batty

* I can stay up late but hate getting up in the morning - like yesterday we stayed up until 2 a.m. and I got up at 11:30 a.m. Ahhhh. {Hence why I'm still awake right now... good thing I'm off work tomorrow, booyah!}

Uncertainty

My brother got a kick out of teasing me in our younger years. He'd dare me to do things, convince me I'd be safe, and push me on out into something that never was as safe as he promised.

I'd sometimes do what he dared me to, venturing out into the unknown in part because I wanted to prove to him and his friends that I could. And in part because I wanted to see what the big fuss was all about.

One such adventure was sled-riding. Growing up out in the middle of the country meant there were hills for good sled-riding all over the place. In our younger years, our family owned the farm we lived on* so we'd join our cousins, and one of the places we'd go was the big hills on the other side of the pond levee.

*We grew up in a rented farmhouse that was on the deed to the farm, and a stone's throw away, but not quite the farm if you know what I mean. We didn't run it or anything, but when my uncle owned it up until I was in middle school, we certainly helped out a ton and it was pretty much like we lived there. 

And boy was it ever fun! My cousin Russ would help my brother Tim come up with some big jumps that they would then spend time getting their little sisters to go on. Russ's younger sister Olivia was just a couple years older than me, and just one year younger than Tim. So she didn't fall for it quite as often as I did.

I remember one such day when the four of us {and maybe others, I can't recall} were out there, I remember Tim & Russ building one of their big jumps, and somehow this time convincing me that it was totally safe. Everyone could do it, so I had to be able to as well.

Come on, give it a try, you won't fall! 

Not to be the wimp, I determined I would do it.

So I got on my little sled, face all determined that I would succeed. Them cheering me on and giggling a bit. Tim gave me a hard push.

Smooth sailing. Hit the jump and glided over it and up into the air.

Mid-air my sled decided it wanted to go a different direction.

Screams insued.

Laughter filled the air behind me.

THUNK.

Insert my face into the freezing cold snow below.

Tears from me. Tears from the group behind me from laughing so hard.

And you better believe I told on him when I got home!


God is never like that with us. He never dares us. He doesn't laugh at us when we get hurt. But he does encourage us to take steps and sometimes leaps of faith, trusting that he is in control, holding our hand, and catching us when we fall.

Right now as I'm really struggling and facing a lot of uncertainty, I'm resting in the promises of God. Knowing that he is there, guiding my ways, allowing my struggles to be my own, but also prepped & ready to catch me when I do get hurt and show me the safe passage home.

Without facing uncertainty in our lives, we'd never need to learn reliance on God. Without those leaps of faith, would we be where we are now? Without trusting God for those times of uncertainty, would we get to the places of big rewards and spiritual riches? Would we be who we are today without falling on our face multiple times and picking ourselves back up?

Despite all that we went through growing up... the teasing and dares ultimately taught me of my brother's love & care for me over the years. As we grew up, I knew first-hand that if anyone else made fun of me or put me at risk in any way, he was the first one to jump in and defend & protect me. If I was struggling with something or someone in my life, I could always go to him and trust that he would help me find a solution through direction, prayer, God's Word, and becoming who God has created me to be.

My brother is one of the people I trust the most in my life. I don't know where I'd be today without all my experiences with him.

Face-planting in the snow and all. 



Image: Michael Baughn, Flickr

Cooking When I Was Younger

My mom loved to cook.

As a result, she did most of it, and I didn't learn much about cooking growing up.

One day when I was babysitting our neighbor kids {I was in early high school I believe}, I was making mac & cheese. I boiled the water and poured the contents of the box into the water.

I did not know there was a package of cheese in that box.

Whoops.

Thankfully I've since learned otherwise!!

Life in my 30's

Last week at lunch with a group of friends from work, I joked about how you start to notice all the 'older' stuff your body feels after you turn 30. And how it is a bit of a downward slant at that point. Not that it's all bad, but was just poking fun of the young 20's peeps in the car and telling them {sarcastically} all they have to look forward to when turning 30.

I partially meant it, partially didn't. I do think you start noticing more of the things you can't do when you were younger, but not in the same way I'm sure as when you're even older. And of course everything depends on how you take care of yourself. It's all a matter of perspective and lifestyle. There are some who feel better at 50 or 60 than they ever have. I hope to be one of those people and be able to look back at this conversation and laugh!

Later I explained to one of the guys that it really isn't so bad, how it's actually been a bit more enjoyable. I wanted to post here the things that I've seen change in the past several years for me.

• My late 20's was a hodge podge of confusion, turmoil, no resolution to frustrations, the beginning of my Fibro, and some traumatic events that I wouldn't truly deal with completely--and see true growth from--until I hit my 30's.
• Starting out in my 30's, I hit a streak of rebellion, restlessness, and resistance to a lot of what had happened in my life, and I fought against God. I got to one of my lowest points ever for questioning my faith and everything I had ever believed in, all the while putting on a smile and trying to be someone I wasn't feeling like being.
• 30.5-32.5 {or so} were a couple of really hard years for me where God brought me to rock bottom to really teach me some things and more dependence on him.
• At 1 month today from turning 33, I can look back at those years and thank God for the rough waters, the turbulent tides, the deep valleys, and see his goodness & grace more than ever. He really proved himself faithful to me, despite my misgivings, fears, anxieties, and mistrust. 

And now....

• My faith has become my own.
• I'm comfortable in my own skin. 
• I'm getting the difference between being real and being hypocritical. 
• I'm able to truly, truly, truly be thankful for my Fibromyalgia instead of walking around like a depressed zombie.
• I love to laugh more than ever.
• I love spending time with family & friends and realize just what a true gift each person is to me. I work hard not to take moments for granted, and to really savor them. Hence all the ridiculous picture taking.
• On that note, learning to take more pictures to savor the moments. And learning what that means for backing up my iPhoto, and not ever getting around to scrapbooking anymore since everything just sits on the computer. 
• Starting goals like having picture saving figured out by the time I hit 40.
• I love life more than ever, and am so thankful for every day, and every breath I get to take.
• I understand more about getting older and what little extra bursts of pain really do mean {Fibro aside...just realizing the getting older stuff and how it affects your body}. 
• I hate things I loved as a kid and I love things I hated as a kid.
• I realize just how insanely amazing my job is and my coworkers are.
• I've come to accept that my body is what it is, and even if I never lose as much weight as I want to, I've come to a place where I'm okay and like me for who I am. But I still want to press on and be who God wants me to be. I still hope to sort all of that out, and I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me! 

30 something. It's not so bad.

For the first time in my life, I feel 100% truly content.

My Childhood Home

18 years of memories.

Long time since I'd driven past it.

So different than it was.

But still the same. 

I got choked up. 

Surrounded by cornfields and woods and silence.

Oh how I miss you.

Years of football, baseball, pitch n catch, frisbee, and other stuff in our large side yard that we affectionately called our 'football field'.

Lots of memories on the rooftop, driveway, the shed that's no longer there, the carport that is different than what was there, our buried dog and cat, and the list goes on.

A good reminder that life moves quickly on around us. We have to soak up every memory, enjoy every moment, and savor every scene because it'll be gone in the blink of an eye.

Getting To Know Me

In response to my fellow Fibro blogger CJ, I thought I'd also do a getting to know me post. 

I'm a 32 year old wacko with a competitive but sensitive spirit, zest for life, who has no kids, and no pets but it's never dull around here. I've been married to my hubster Tim for 10 years. I grew up in the country, but now live in the western suburbs of Chicago {always to my amazement; thought I'd always be a country girl}. I love my job as an administrator/editor for a small Christian publishing company. It's only my second job out in the workforce and I've been there 9 years. Prior to that I was an assistant for the radio division of a homeless shelter in downtown Chicago. That's right...graduate college, get married 6 weeks later, go on our honeymoon, deal with hubster nearly getting killed by a drunk driver a week to the day after our wedding, have one more week off to get settled in, and then start work in downtown Chicago. Talk about culture shock.

We attend a totally amazing, albeit imperfect, church where our pastoral team is unbelievably phenomenal. We are 1 church on 5 campuses of about 12,000 people. It's non-denominational but our 4 main pillars are:
1. Proclaiming the authority of God's Word without apology. 2 Tim 4:2
2. Lifting high the name of Jesus through worship. John 4:24
3. Believing firmly in the power of prayer. Eph 6:18
4. Sharing the good news of Jesus with boldness. Eph 6:19-20

My favorite color is purple. My favorite musicians are the David Crowder Band. I'm currently reading 4 books at once...it's even starting to drive me crazy. They are: Take Two {fiction by Karen Kingsbury}, A Waist Is a Terrible Thing to Mind {hilarious book about learning to love your body & yourself for who you are}, What Did You Expect? {a great book about the realities of marriage that we published where I work}, and When Life Is Hard {phenomenal book about trials by my pastor}.

Click the About Me tab above to learn even more.

Currently my dream is to become a full-time/stay-at-home mom. There are various reasons playing into why we don't have kids yet, but at this time I'm not going to go into it. But it doesn't change the fact that I want it very badly.

I love everyone and I want you all to feel welcomed here, no matter your beliefs. I believe very strongly, but encourage you to speak your mind, so long as you don't use God's or Jesus' name in vain or swear in my comments.

I do have Fibromyalgia, but it does not have me. At least most days. I've learned to be thankful for it and all that I've learned in the process, but come on, we all have our days where life gets the best of us. 

I am blessed beyond measure, have a wonderful Savior, a terrific husband, and more than I could ever ask for. Life is hard, but God is great! I look forward to that glorious day when I enter Heaven and am no longer in pain. But in the meantime, I want to honor and glorify Him in everything I say and do! I long for this blog to be a reflection of that.

Things I Like Tuesday - The Men in My Life

I often like to reflect on who I have in my life and what's going on around me at any given time. I think this helps keep me focused on important things...the people we rely on, love, and care for. The people who make a difference in our lives.

So, today I decided to reflect on the men in my life. 

And I apologize for all the pictures in a small way. I hate to be one of those annoyingly long blog posters who rattles on and shows picture after picture, but I honestly just can't help myself. Pictures are a huge part of my life. I almost constantly have either my camera or my cell phone with camera on me, ready to take a picture at a moment's notice. I love sharing pictures and talking about them. I love talking with you all about pictures. I'm not a photography expert, but I love pictures. So thank you for humoring me here and looking at pretending to look at all my pictures.

:o)

First of course is hubster, Tim. He's wild, crazy, lovable, hilarious, insane, whacky, wonderful, gentle, kind, amazing. He loves cracking jokes and is full of wit and sarcasm...sometimes to my utter dismay! {He is rarely serious!} But it also reminds me to lighten up and really just laugh. I've known him for 12 years now and I can barely remember what life was like without him in it. I first went head-over-heels for him when my best friend from college and I were doing a radio show after him at our college radio station. I remember whenever we opened the door, we'd both breathe in a quiet breath of his wonderful cologne. There was something about it that just always sweetened the atmosphere. Then we'd sit and chat with him until it was our turn to take over and he'd leave and I'd be going ga-ga. His cologne still sometimes has me weak in the knees, but now because it's a part of who I know him to be...his sweetness and the aura he carries. Tim is a delight to be around, funny, committed, competitive, an incredible uncle, a devoted husband, a tolerant husband {cuz you know, he puts up with the likes of me}, a godly man, has a servant's heart, is incredibly passionate about the things he cares about most {which sometimes drives me bonkers}, has good ideas, works very hard, is diligent at his job, takes care of me around the house, does stuff for me I hate doing {like stuff with the car, changing lightbulbs, cleaning the shower...}, and loves me despite of me.

And I still can't believe we'll be married TEN years this June!!

 

 

Then there's my brother, Tim. I've always looked up to him. He's always been there for me. He's fun, light-hearted, intense, one of the godliest men I know, rambunctious, the best dad ever to his two little girls, an amazing husband to the greatest sister-in-law, competitive, teases me to no end and I love it, and is hands down one of my very best friends. When I need expert advice or godly counsel, he's the one I call. {Well, after my mom.} I quite simply adore this man and am eternally grateful for the role he has played in my life. We don't talk constantly or anything like that, but I know I can always count on him and I hope he knows the same of me. And when we do talk, there's no place I'd rather be.

  

 

 

Ahh, my daddy. No matter what, I'll always be wrapped around his finger. Even though we have our moments and we disagree on a lot of things {religion, politics, life in general lol}, he's still very much my daddy and I'm still very much his little girl. He's a wonderful man, hilarious, kind, generous, very loving, thoughtful, light-hearded, and also very passionate about the things he loves and cares about. He could talk all day about computers and a bunch of stuff I don't understand, but I love how much he loves it. We've grown a lot closer these past couple years as we've opened up more and more to each other, and I could not be more thankful. My dad is a really great man, and I couldn't be more blessed to have him in my life. The best thing I take from him is consideration of other people. My generosity and caring about others intensely comes from him.

 

My stepdad Jerry. He is such a great man and has made my mom blissfully happy. I've known him {along with his first wife who passed away several years ago} since I was a kid. Jerry & Wilma went to the church I grew up at, where Wilma served with my Grandma in the library, and Jerry was a deacon, active in the choir and as a soloist, and sometimes led worship. I'd always looked up to them, had sleepovers at their house in junior high, and have a lot of respect and admiration for him and all that he's done in his life. And then he and mom got to know each other better, started dating {which I thought was awesome and blew my socks off at the same time!}, sought counseling at the church to make sure they were doing things the right away biblically {given that mom's divorced} and believed that they were {long story}, and got married in April 08. I couldn't be happier to have Jerry as a part of our family! And... most importantly, of course... you also make our Christmas Eve caroling sound soooo much better!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got all teary-eyed when I started going through some pictures, realizing just how happy mom is. Thank you for making her so happy. Thank you for taking her to Switzerland on your honeymoon, I've never seen her so happy than to have dreams coming true she never thought would happen. And to find the love of her life. A million times over, thank you for caring for her and loving on her so well. I love that you spoil her and literally do anything you can for her!

One of my second brothers. Of absolutely no relation. Jason and I have known each other since my freshman year of high school (1992). I consider him my best friend from high school. He is definitely like a brother to me, and I've always looked up to him. Tim likes him too and he was a groomsman in our wedding. Then we lost touch for about 8 years. We reconnected in Nov of 08 when he and his girlfriend, Anna, were coming to Chicago and wanted to stay with us for the weekend. We weren't sure how it was going to go... not having seen him for a while and never having met her, and it was way better than we could have imagined. They visited us again this year in mid-April, and it was even better. They had just gotten engaged (yayyy!!) and it was so fun to talk to them about their relationship and plans for their wedding. I think because now we knew they were together for real it made it even more fun to hang out together as couples. We were delighted to spend the weekend with them and can't wait for the next one and for their wedding next year, woot!

 

I love her.

 What a great pair they are! She is so good for him!

 

 The four of us really have godly, fun time together. I'm so glad we all click so well.

 

Thankfully he and hubster get along great.

 

Another of my second brothers. Of absolutely no relation. Married to one of my best friends Monica. We treat each other much like siblings would, and while I've never told him this directly, I really do think of him very much like he's my brother. He's hilarious, godly, completely goofy, inspiring, full of wisdom, doesn't mind me constantly being in his house, and protective. Walking me to my car and opening the door for me after watching his kid until nearly midnight even though he knows his neighborhood isn't scary, he did so because he knew I was completely freaked out. I trust and respect him, and appreciate so much everything he does for Parker & Monica. He takes care of them and stands up for them so well.

 

 

 

 

Really... need I say more? Parker, you stole my heart from day one. Not being a mom yet, I've never quite felt this feeling. I love my nieces & nephews to pieces, but there's something special about you kid. Seeing you in and out 1-3 times a week, being your babysitter, and just having oodles of laughs and heaps of fun with you constantly... I don't know, there's a bond there beyond anything I can describe. You cry and I want to come running. You laugh and my heart melts. You smile at me and I want to leap for joy. You amaze me, kid. Thanks to your parents for letting me be such a big part of your life! 

 

 

 

 

 

My Grandpa. My mom's dad. He's amazing. He's very godly, honest, caring, forgiving, loving, serving, hilarious, delightful, witty, dedicated, committed, a family man, an excellent farmer, a great dad/husband/grandpa/great-grandpa, a faithful follower of Jesus Christ his entire life, and on and on I could go! I just completely lost my words thinking about him. He's just practically anything you could put to words when describing a Christian Grandpa. There's just no other way to say it. Losing Grandma was really hard. Losing Grandpa will be that much harder. It tears me up to just think about it. He just turned 90. The below pictures were taken at his 90th birthday party Easter weekend this year. He's slipping further and further into dementia, which is so sad to watch. He's always been a brilliant and sharp man. Just another good reminder of how great Heaven will be when we'll see him again, armed with a perfect memory and incredible mind. Oh I look forward to that day! 

My incredible Uncle Bill. I've always known I adored him but it wasn't until he was recently diagnosed with skin cancer did I realize just how much I couldn't imagine my life without him. I love my mom's sister's husbands, all of 'em in their own ways are special, but Uncle Bill, you are one-of-a-kind. And I've never been able to put it into words to you, but since I know your wife {hi Aunt Robin! :)} reads this sometimes, maybe now is a good time to let you know directly just how much I love you. No, really. I remember seeing you over Easter weekend, first time since hearing about your diagnosis, and I got choked up. I really had to fight to hold the tears back, and as I hugged you I truly didn't want to let go. The thought of losing you--especially Aunt Robin, Holly, Mary, and your grandkids losing you--but also for me was almost too much to bear. I'm sooo thankful to God that you are still with us. That you are still helping Grandpa as much as you can. That you are still faithfully loving on this family so dearly. You are a rock-solid centerpiece to our family. Your hard work on the farm, dedication to helping Grandpa keep things together, your keen sense of what Grandpa is talking about, your wonderful sense of humor about it all, and your graciousness and kindness do not go unnoticed. We see it. We see your love & care for Aunt Robin. We know. We cannot imagine our lives without you in it and we pray you're here for a long time yet. But if God chooses to take you before we're ready, I hope & pray that I'll see you again in Heaven someday. Because a Heaven without you is nearly impossible to imagine.

 

Thank you Lord, for the men in my life. The ones pictured here and the ones not pictured here. Thank you for each of them. The roles they've played. The ways they've helped shape who I am and who I will become. I will be forever grateful for them. Please watch over them now and keep them safe.