About 3 weeks ago, on my way home after work from a friend's house, I came the closest I've ever come to being in what very well could have been a fatal car accident.
It shook me to my very core.
You see, car accidents are a major fear of mine. I've been in enough of them to understand how it all works {only 1 was my fault, kind of}, and I came as close as I can imagine to losing hubster to a car accident except that he managed to walk away with just minor scrapes and bruises.
In the midst of my fears over losing a loved one tragically in a sudden accident, or getting into a bad accident myself... God quickly reminded me of his sovereignty over all circumstances.
Fearing it isn't going to change it. I've always known that, but somehow being afraid and imagining it happening to me makes it a bit easier to swallow when it actually does. It's a defense mechanism for me.
That extremely close call I had {with a car running a red light, as I turned left at a light, he would have hit smack into my driver's side door if God's protection... and some screeching, veering, and honking hadn't taken place just in the knick of time} made me really reflect. After I walked into the door at home just a few minutes later, after the hyperventilating-freaking-out moment ended, it really struck me how deeply wrong I'd been in that moment.
How wrong of me to somehow try to control things by fearing them. How wrong of me to think that some large amount of fear on my part would make God rethink his plans for me.
Fear and anxiety is not something easy to get rid of, but I'm working on it, especially in this area. I truly do believe God is sovereign... it's time I truly started acting like it.
This video of Matt Chandler {really just his voice, but I love what he says here} really makes it all that much more real to me.
Nobody dies early. Nobody. God's got it all under control.
4 comments:
Thanks for this reminder!!
Glad you're safe. God knows the number of our days, but sometimes it's still hard, isn't it? We so want to control things ourselves, or at least I do. I am reminded many times as I go through my treatments right now that I'm only doing what is humanly possible, that ultimately God is in control of what happens to me. And honestly, it's a little hard if I dwell on that. Death is scary for me even though I know where I'm going. Right now I'm at that stage where I don't want to miss my kids growing up or leave them without a mom. Will I have other excuses/reasons for my fears later? Obviously I've given this some thought. :) Sorry for the long comment...I didn't start out intending for it to head this way.
Oh Kayren - I've missed you!!! I can't imagine what you are going through and having to face all of this.... I always fear dying before being able to give my husband kids, or doing the next thing with/for my parents, etc etc. It's hard in our flesh to see God orchestrating it all together for our good and his glory, but in our lives and in our death, His sovereignty reigns supreme. It doesn't make it easier, but it helps take the deep fears & anxieties away. Mine are becoming a really big deal, and I cannot allow this to continue, this near accident was a serious wake up call. - But it is still hard and I think death is scary for everyone no matter that we know where we're going when we die. It's still a scary thought to process. Probably why it's good we don't know the time or the day it'll happen!
I give this thoughts all the time - feel free to email me more or comment to your heart's content!!!
Praying for you friend, you can beat that cancer I just know it!! {{hugs}}
One more thing Kayren - why the Chandler video resonates so well with me and why I posted it is because Matt Chandler had brain cancer, and overcame it. He's still alive, and has a powerful testimony of God's healing. I think he can speak well to the subject of death having come so close to it.
Post a Comment