Tonight...
I am sad. I am missing my family and our traditions.
I am crying my eyes out wishing we had kids already.
I am kinda sad that we aren't doing Christmas presents for each other this year.
We basically have nothing going on tonight or tomorrow. Tim's family's Christmas gathering had to be canceled because his mom has been really sick for over a week, so we're having it after Christmas instead.
We are bored.
My heart aches. Is it possible to hurt this badly for kids you don't even have yet?
I am regretting the way I handled something at church tonight. Do you ever know you just said the wrong thing at the wrong time even though at the time you thought it was right but then you realized it came out wrong? I did that for sure tonight. And I'm really bad at torturing myself and reliving the moment over and over and over and.... I'm kind of crazy like that.
And through all of these selfish, nitty-gritty feelings... I'm reminded of that little baby boy born all those years ago in Bethlehem. All the sacrifice. All the love. The penalty that was later paid for all of us for the forgiveness of sins.
And I am amazed. How selfish and silly I can be, when He sent us the greatest gift of all. How petty all those other thoughts are. I'm reminded to fall on my face before Him, and rejoice that He ever came for me at all. What I'm going through is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life. God promises to never leave us or forsake us, to never give up on us, and to be for us when all others are against us.
I mean, really, how GREAT is that?!?!
The best gift. The perfect gift. The real Reason for this season!
Whatever you're going through or dealing with right now, may you celebrate the birth of Christ, and focus on Him more than anything else today and tomorrow.
A very Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night {and a great day tomorrow}!!!!
2 comments:
Merry Christmas Rochelle. I pray that God will fill your heart with peace and joy. I know He has a plan for you and your family.
Merry Christmas Rochelle. I hope God gives you feelings of peace and joy in the days to come. We are humans and fallable, that is why Jesus was brought to this earth to forgive our sins and our shortcomings. Don't beat yourself up. You realize that what you said may have come out wrong and you are sorry for it. If God can forgive you, who are you to not do the same.
We had to cancel Christmas a few years ago because the ENTIRE family got hit with a stomach flu. Actually, it turned out better. We had the holiday to rest after all the running around and when we finally did get together the brief rest made it more enjoyable. Look at it as a blessing.
Soft Hugs to you,
Laurie D
Post a Comment