Thursday, May 26, 2011

Life in my 30's

Last week at lunch with a group of friends from work, I joked about how you start to notice all the 'older' stuff your body feels after you turn 30. And how it is a bit of a downward slant at that point. Not that it's all bad, but was just poking fun of the young 20's peeps in the car and telling them {sarcastically} all they have to look forward to when turning 30.

I partially meant it, partially didn't. I do think you start noticing more of the things you can't do when you were younger, but not in the same way I'm sure as when you're even older. And of course everything depends on how you take care of yourself. It's all a matter of perspective and lifestyle. There are some who feel better at 50 or 60 than they ever have. I hope to be one of those people and be able to look back at this conversation and laugh!

Later I explained to one of the guys that it really isn't so bad, how it's actually been a bit more enjoyable. I wanted to post here the things that I've seen change in the past several years for me.

  • My late 20's was a hodge podge of confusion, turmoil, no resolution to frustrations, the beginning of my Fibro, and some traumatic events that I wouldn't truly deal with completely--and see true growth from--until I hit my 30's.
  • Starting out in my 30's, I hit a streak of rebellion, restlessness, and resistance to a lot of what had happened in my life, and I fought against God. I got to one of my lowest points ever for questioning my faith and everything I had ever believed in, all the while putting on a smile and trying to be someone I wasn't feeling like being.
  • 30.5-32.5 {or so} were a couple of really hard years for me where God brought me to rock bottom to really teach me some things and more dependence on him.
  • At 1 month today from turning 33, I can look back at those years and thank God for the rough waters, the turbulent tides, the deep valleys, and see his goodness & grace more than ever. He really proved himself faithful to me, despite my misgivings, fears, anxieties, and mistrust. 

And now....

  • My faith has become my own.
  • I'm comfortable in my own skin. 
  • I'm getting the difference between being real and being hypocritical. 
  • I'm able to truly, truly, truly be thankful for my Fibromyalgia instead of walking around like a depressed zombie.
  • I love to laugh more than ever.
  • I love spending time with family & friends and realize just what a true gift each person is to me. I work hard not to take moments for granted, and to really savor them. Hence all the ridiculous picture taking.
  • On that note, learning to take more pictures to savor the moments. And learning what that means for backing up my iPhoto, and not ever getting around to scrapbooking anymore since everything just sits on the computer. 
  • Starting goals like having picture saving figured out by the time I hit 40.
  • I love life more than ever, and am so thankful for every day, and every breath I get to take.
  • I understand more about getting older and what little extra bursts of pain really do mean {Fibro aside...just realizing the getting older stuff and how it affects your body}. 
  • I hate things I loved as a kid and I love things I hated as a kid.
  • I realize just how insanely amazing my job is and my coworkers are.
  • I've come to accept that my body is what it is, and even if I never lose as much weight as I want to, I've come to a place where I'm okay and like me for who I am. But I still want to press on and be who God wants me to be. I still hope to sort all of that out, and I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me! 

30 something. It's not so bad.

For the first time in my life, I feel 100% truly content.


Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention that you are more stylish too!

Yay Kohls!

Love Katie Mieras :).

Rochelle said...

Good point Katie! That's totally right, all because of you & Annemarie!! :) I miss you friend!