Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Trying Not to Succumb

I'm trying hard not to succumb to the depression I feel would easily surround me right now if I allow it. I'm so filled with mixed emotions - I had an absolutely AMAZING weekend. It could hardly have been any better unless it was longer!

I loved every single second with my nieces.

I loved seeing some friends I hadn't seen in over 5 years.

I shed tears, laughed a lot, and soaked in every second of my last moments in the Indiana house with my brother and his family (which I'm very happy about, excited for them, but just reminiscing and soaking it in). They move in a week and a half. I enjoyed a 4 day weekend and once again allowed myself to get pulled away from reality. I liked not having to face my harsh reality. I liked playing around with kids and pretending to be young and healthy again.

In the process of our drive home yesterday afternoon, I started to realize I was coming down with the cold my brother's entire family had. I hoped and hoped that I wouldn't get it, but I was just sure I would... I paid attention and always washed my hands thoroughly every time I wiped their noses, got kisses from them, or helped them go potty. But I guess it just wasn't enough.

So today I was at home sick... again. :( I'm so tired of getting sick so easily! That is one of the things I hate most about fibro... my immune system is low and cannot fight infection as easily. I get sick more often and longer than my normal friends and family. I have some family members who are less than understanding or supportive in this area, and it's utterly discouraging and frustrating. Anyway, I hope to fight this thing and make it so it doesn't turn into anything worse. If it just stays as a regular cold, that's fine. I'm taking that Zicam stuff that helps shorten the length of colds and I hope it'll work. And I'm downing tons of orange juice.

There have been a few things that have happened recently that make me feel incredibly overwhelmed and discouraged, despite the fun and hope I saw this weekend. It would be easy to let myself dwell on the negatives. I'm fighting hard against it... but it is a dire struggle today. I've cried a lot, prayed a lot, thought a lot, read Scripture, and am perservering.

I'm reminded that I need to keep an appropriate perspective. I got this link from my sister-in-law, Becca, and I just love it. It really touched my heart today, and got me balling!

In other news...

I am dying to find storage boxes like these, but so far no luck. The second best I've found are these. I'm anxious to organize our hallway storage closet before it drives me batty.

Coming soon, I'll join the rest of the Valentine's Day ideas blogging gang by sharing some of my likes/dislikes of Valentine's Day ideas. But for now, I'm just trying to get through today.


Future of Hope said...

You are doing the greatest things that you can do by giving your struggles to God. Remember, He desires to fight your battles for you!

I saw the post about those storage baskets too. Do they have them at the Schaumburg Ikea?

Sherah said...

Hmm. I've never seen boxes like those before! We should go thrift store shopping at lunch one day and see what we can find :)

Thanks for being so honest. I'm praying this for you:

momtofive07 said...

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down right now. I want you to know I'm sending you big hugs and will be praying for you as well.