I don't really have much to say today. I'm feeling... a bit defeated.
Lonely. Exhausted. Frustrated. Angry. Exhausted. Sore. Bored. Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy. Lonely.
But I am not in despair. I rejoice in my Savior. Hope in my King. Falling at the foot of the cross. Worshiping Him alone. Thankful to know Him. Thankful He knows me.
Trusting Him for my future. Feeling secure in His arms. Looking toward that day when my body will be whole again. Knowing He is with me always. Resting in His almighty & sovereign hands. Praising Him for my storm.
But crying nonetheless. And wishing, even if just for today, that it wasn't so.
My arms and heart ache to hold a baby. My baby. My entire body aches from the hard work and hours at the gym, pouring out sweat onto those machines, wishing the weight would come off faster, trying to will it off, being frustrated things aren't clicking quickly, struggling so badly with the nutrition aspect, and longing to just feel normal again.
Today, I am very tired of my reality.