Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fibro Getting the Best of Me Today

I don't really have much to say today. I'm feeling... a bit defeated.

Lonely. Exhausted. Frustrated. Angry. Exhausted. Sore. Bored. Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy. Lonely.

Defeated. 

But I am not in despair. I rejoice in my Savior. Hope in my King. Falling at the foot of the cross. Worshiping Him alone. Thankful to know Him. Thankful He knows me.

Trusting Him for my future. Feeling secure in His arms. Looking toward that day when my body will be whole again. Knowing He is with me always. Resting in His almighty & sovereign hands. Praising Him for my storm.

But crying nonetheless. And wishing, even if just for today, that it wasn't so.

My arms and heart ache to hold a baby. My baby. My entire body aches from the hard work and hours at the gym, pouring out sweat onto those machines, wishing the weight would come off faster, trying to will it off, being frustrated things aren't clicking quickly, struggling so badly with the nutrition aspect, and longing to just feel normal again.

Today, I am very tired of my reality.

11 comments:

Vikki G said...

Rochelle,
so very sorry for the pain you are in~ Remember God sees all and He is there in the middle of it all.
Prayers,
vikki

melody said...

My heart aches for you, Rochelle...my own body is also in great pain today and that pain helps remind me of you and my other dear friends who are suffering physically. Praying for you, friend.

I came upon the following verse on another blog today and was encouraged by it...
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

Soft Hugs to All: Laurie D. said...

Rochelle,
I can understand how you feel. I have those day where I feel that I just can't bear to go on another moment feeling this way. It's OK to feel that way. It's OK to voice that you feel that way. It's not OK to act on those thoughts and feelings. It's good that you realize that Jesus is with us always. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that someday, they will find something that will give fibromites relief.
Soft Hugs to You
Laurie D.

blueviolet said...

I hope tomorrow is better. I just can't stand that this goes back and forth for you all the time.

Kayren, Pink Daisy Girl said...

I can pray for you. I will also get back on that email, just haven't had the appropriate time to devote to it.

I just included a Bible verse in my post that is my personal favorite, Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Rochelle said...

thanks all - you gals are all so amazing. i've never met a single one of you in person, and yet was weeping in reading these comments. i cannot tell you just how much i appreciate your support. i covet your continued prayers.

Sherah said...

Just read this, Roe. Can I say that I think what you're doing is very brave, and really incredible? You are working so hard to achieve your goals; keep God first, and He's going to honor you. I'm praying for you tonight!

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

I am praying for you Rochelle. And God has plans for you, just keep trusting Him.

I am wondering how does all that hard work at the gym affect your fibro pain? Right now I think if I did a real workout I would be in a hospital on an IV drip of morphine. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

Rochelle,
You mention your arms and heart ache to hold your own baby. If I may ask a personal question, have you tried or are you trying to have a baby? Is there something stopping you from having your own baby at this time?

Your friend in prayer,
David

Evelyn said...

Hang in there! I am praying for you, and I have been there. You can do it! Lately I've been feeling better about my fibro, the best thing I've found for stiff mornings is my ChiliPad - a mattress pad that lets you cool down (or heat up) your bed, mine lets me set any temperature between 46 and 118 degrees. It helps with pain and I have been getting more sleep because I'm not woken up by pain as easily. Hope this helps!

Rochelle said...

thanks again all, you are all so great!

and yes, David, there are varying reasons and they don't come from the Fibro. i've written about it before and if i can find the link i'll repost it.

thanks all for your kind words, encouragement, and all the comment love!! :) i really appreciate each of you!