Saturday, December 26, 2009

Day After Christmas Let Down

Normally the day after Christmas can be a bit of a let down.

I know it shouldn't be. We should focus on celebrating the birth of our Savior with our loved ones. But you know, Christmas can be really hard. When you feel lonely, are alone, recently lost a loved one, etc, Christmastime seems to amplify that loss or loneliness. And I've been struggling with that a bit this year {not having kids}. I wasn't sure exactly why this year was so especially hard, but as I got to thinking I realized the multiple reasons why:

1) We didn't make Tim's family Thanksgiving due to me catching the stomach flu.

2) We didn't get really into Christmas this year. We didn't put up outside lights, and we barely decorated inside the house. So it wasn't very festive. And I barely listened to Christmas music this season. I wasn't feeling it. In part because of marriage troubles, and in part because we still don't have kids and that's been a difficult thing for me to face this year as we get so close to our 10 year anniversary next June (and as I watched all those families celebrating together on Christmas Eve).

4) Every year my family has celebrated Christmas prior to Christmas. It was my family's turn to celebrate Christmas here at our house. But for various reasons with schedules and such, it didn't work out this year until after Christmas and in my hometown where my mom, stepdad, and brother and his family all live now (we head down there on Monday for a week).

5) Tim's family's Christmas got postponed to the second weekend in January since his mom has been really sick. We always see his family on Christmas Day. Obviously, it makes sense not to have it given the situation, it just played into my feeling down & lonely yesterday.

6) Tim & I didn't exchange gifts this year. We bought a new TV as part of an early Black Friday gift for ourselves. So we did stockings only. And it just felt a bit... empty. But really, even if it is gift after gift after gift, it often feels empty then too if we don't focus fully on Christ.

So... we stayed around the house after our church Christmas Eve services and also all Christmas Day. It was a bit lonely and dull, but I am thankful for what we did have. It was the first day for the two of us to be at home together all day long. No stress. No worries. Just lots of Christmas movies, wrapping up family gifts, etc.

And since we haven't celebrated Christmas on either side, we still have a lot to look forward to.

So even though the actual day is passed, we are still trucking along with celebrations. And since we should celebrate Christ the whole year through and remember all that He did for us and has given to us, we will continue to celebrate Him in the days and weeks and months to come. The tree will go down in January, the Christmas music will stop playing, and all the gifts will be exchanged. Once all that happens, it will be sad. Perhaps even slightly depressing. That spirit of joy and glee that comes with the holidays, will fade.

But it will come again next year. And the year after that. And....

In the meantime, may we all {me included} work on celebrating the risen, glorious Savior all year long!

And I hope you are not feeling too down today... or too sick. Fibro people, did you manage yourself well or get yourself overworked and really sick? I think I did okay... I had my moments but overall I think I'm good.

Gentle hugs & blessings to each of you!

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