Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Fibromyalgia & Traveling On Your Own

As you know, I've been doing better overall with my Fibromyalgia. The energy and strength I get from working out with my trainer is incredible. Stuff I never thought I'd be capable of again. Like taking the stairs all last week. No elevator.

Granted, it helped that the elevator totally reeked from last weekend's flooding and was too nauseating to get into. 


I really have been amazed at the small victories I see every day from staying strong and working out.

2-3 years ago, I definitely couldn't have driven myself around so much without a complete flare-up.

Between Friday late afternoon and Monday night, I traveled 814+ miles (I forgot to switch it until about 15 minutes or so into my trip). Entirely on my own. For the first time ever. 100% alone.

With God.

It was challenging, rewarding, stretching, nerve-wracking, anxiety-ridden, crazy, relaxing, refreshing, and fuuuunnnnn!!! God gently quieted my fears and calmed my nerves. He reminded me in amazing ways of how very much he was with me in that car, holding me in the palm of his hand.

I feel so much stronger, so much more empowered, and so much more independent now. Like I found myself again.

The reality is you can't go on a trip like this entirely by yourself and not change one iota. I came back different. Not much, I'm still me, just with a different outlook on some things. Like the ability to be more independent. This is only a development in the past year or so, but I think it's important. I want to rely on Tim for some things, my friends & family for some things, but I truly also need to know how to stand on my own two feet.

As for the Fibro, I'm not doing great... but I'm also not doing terribly. It could be so much worse. I'm amazed I was able to come into work today at all. And then stay after work with friends to play Wii for hours on end. And come home still able to walk and move at all.

I feel fairly miserable, but also not.

I feel like I have nothing left to give, nothing left in me, but usually there's at least a little something.

It's hard to explain. It's hard to define.

But ultimately here's my assessment: I don't recommend traveling alone for hours with Fibromyalgia or a chronic illness, when avoidable. You never know when a problem could arise and you can't take care of yourself or get yourself to where you need to go. You never know what intense pain could hit while driving, or like for me yesterday, what intense fatigue could overwhelm you. It's really hard to do, but it makes it even that much more amazing of a feeling when you conquer it.

So even though I don't think it's necessarily wise, in the end, it's totally worth it.

Yep, don't regret it at all. Not even a little.


Lynda Young said...

awesome post, beautiful photos.
Life changing words: with God.


Dogmom Diva said...

Hi Rochelle, great post..I so agree, worth it in the end. I used to be able to drive like that..I could again if I needed to. I am very proud of you!


Lynn-Marie said...

I know what you mean when you explain the feeling you got from driving by yourself....I was a district manager for 15 years and used to drive everywhere. When I got sick of course all that stopped. Well anyway last year I drove by myself (4 Hrs) to the beach to see my parents and the feeling I got from doing that was so overwelming! I was so scared before I left and for about the firts 1/2 of the trip. Then I started to relax and have my little talks with God and I had such a relaxing drive :)
It was the first time in forever I felt "normal"
It is the little things that give me my identity now and I take them when I can....
I am so happy you had a great time...I love reading your blog and I envy how you stay so positive and upbeat. How do you get the energy to do what you do???
I am starting yogo and I am going to make myslef start working out again because I know that will help!!