As you know, I've been doing better overall with my Fibromyalgia. The energy and strength I get from working out with my trainer is incredible. Stuff I never thought I'd be capable of again. Like taking the stairs all last week. No elevator.
Granted, it helped that the elevator totally reeked from last weekend's flooding and was too nauseating to get into.
I really have been amazed at the small victories I see every day from staying strong and working out.
2-3 years ago, I definitely couldn't have driven myself around so much without a complete flare-up.
Between Friday late afternoon and Monday night, I traveled 814+ miles (I forgot to switch it until about 15 minutes or so into my trip). Entirely on my own. For the first time ever. 100% alone.
It was challenging, rewarding, stretching, nerve-wracking, anxiety-ridden, crazy, relaxing, refreshing, and fuuuunnnnn!!! God gently quieted my fears and calmed my nerves. He reminded me in amazing ways of how very much he was with me in that car, holding me in the palm of his hand.
I feel so much stronger, so much more empowered, and so much more independent now. Like I found myself again.
The reality is you can't go on a trip like this entirely by yourself and not change one iota. I came back different. Not much, I'm still me, just with a different outlook on some things. Like the ability to be more independent. This is only a development in the past year or so, but I think it's important. I want to rely on Tim for some things, my friends & family for some things, but I truly also need to know how to stand on my own two feet.
As for the Fibro, I'm not doing great... but I'm also not doing terribly. It could be so much worse. I'm amazed I was able to come into work today at all. And then stay after work with friends to play Wii for hours on end. And come home still able to walk and move at all.
I feel fairly miserable, but also not.
I feel like I have nothing left to give, nothing left in me, but usually there's at least a little something.
It's hard to explain. It's hard to define.
But ultimately here's my assessment: I don't recommend traveling alone for hours with Fibromyalgia or a chronic illness, when avoidable. You never know when a problem could arise and you can't take care of yourself or get yourself to where you need to go. You never know what intense pain could hit while driving, or like for me yesterday, what intense fatigue could overwhelm you. It's really hard to do, but it makes it even that much more amazing of a feeling when you conquer it.
So even though I don't think it's necessarily wise, in the end, it's totally worth it.
Yep, don't regret it at all. Not even a little.