Reality & Some Important News

Reality was just starting to sink in.

July 2nd. Baby would be here in about a month or less.

Then last Monday's doctor appointment happened. My secondary OB had determined we should deliver between 38 and 39 weeks because of being high risk. We walked out a bit stunned and uncertain, but decided not to worry about it too much and just keep trucking along.

Then last Thursday's doctor appointment and non-stress test happened with my favorite doctor. We let her know what the other doctor told us on Monday. These two doctors, though in the same practice, have differed slightly at times on their opinions so we anticipated the same here.

Instead after some discussion, calendar checking, more discussion, a chance for Tim & I to talk on our own, and a phone call... we left the doctor's office with our heads spinning.

And with a date of Thursday, June 20th, now clearly marked on our calendars as our date for me to be induced.

Yipes.

Reality all the more.

So unless things change between now and then, and baby decides to arrive before then... I check-in at the hospital next Wednesday night the 19th for some preliminary stuff.

That's in ONE WEEK people.

We both totally freaked out and panicked last night.

We ultimately know it's going to be okay, but it's still scary no matter what. It's overwhelming. There's a lot we're dealing with right now. I feel a ton of pressure to wrap up everything nice and neat for work before I'm gone for six plus weeks.

Trying to take each thing as it comes and not stress out. And honestly I think we've done an amazing job at that (!!). But we still have our days. Our terrified, what are we doing kind of days.

So we freak out. And I text a dear friend. And get this gentle, loving, very helpful reminder:
"It's all going to be wonderful. You are going to be a champ and that kiddo is going to come quickly and easily. :) I love you and you always handle stressful situations better when you are in them than you think you will ahead of time!"

So. very. true.

Deep breaths. Water. Relax. Roll shoulders. Repeat.

I didn't sleep hardly a wink last night, but I'm better this morning. Just entering the fray today with a new mindset and a lot of prayer time.

--

It's weird to think that our 13th wedding anniversary and my 35th birthday will be spent secluded in our own home, staring at, rejoicing in, and snuggling with our newborn son... both within a week of his new expected arrival date.

[Our anniversary is June 24th, and my bday is June 26th. His bday is now expected to be June 20th. My original due date was July 2.]

I was 37 weeks, full time yesterday!! So praise God, baby is safe to deliver anytime now!! And sometimes the docs didn't think we'd make it this far, ha! And I was considered high risk in part because I'd be 35 when the baby was due. Not true now, he's going to arrive before I turn 35, LOL!

It's hard to process that tomorrow is my last day at the office for 7.5 weeks. Next Monday morning I will wrap up things with my boss via email and make sure there aren't any outstanding questions before I'm officially on leave for 7 weeks. Wrapping my head around that has been really strange. And I think a big part of why I'm freaking out. It's part of my identity. That job is a big part of who I am, and so much has already changed in the past several weeks that I can barely recognize it as the same job. Which is fine. But it's just all part of a weird process to get used to right now.

I know people do this all the time. I've had this job for 12 years as of July 2nd {ironically... baby's original due date!}. Being gone for over 7 weeks is... so weird. I'm so thankful for this incredible company though, and the way that they've been so flexible lately and will continue to be even after baby's arrival!

I cannot imagine leaving the company, and it's never been my full desire to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've never felt fully called to it. I love my job, I love the company, and I feel God still wants me there. It's not time to end that journey. Though I'm grateful I'll be able to have flexibility so that baby boy is only in daycare two days a week. I actually think it'll be really good, though I'm sure it'll be hard to be away from him, but I grew up going to daycare, my mom was a daycare teacher for over 20 years, and I fully trust the ladies at the Christian daycare we're sending our son to. I know he's going to have great socialization, wonderful teaching, great chapels, and he'll learn about Jesus too! I'm really amazed at how God led all of this together and how he's worked everything together for our good and his glory in the midst of what was at one time, incredibly stressful!

--

The nursery is nearly complete. Our final piece, a bookshelf, arrived today and will go up this evening. Our hospital bags are in the living room, mostly packed and ready to go except last minute things or so to grab.

I have a slew of very overdue thank you cards sitting on my desk, staring me in the face. I have tons to wrap up for work over the next several days.

In a little over a week or so, I'm going to meet my son.

MY.

SON.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Do not hyperventilate. This is real. It's okay.

Now my stomach's upset with me.

It's going to truly be an adventure and we are totally excited and completely terrified.

Ready or not, here we go!

Bring it on!!!