Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's

It is really hard for me to comprehend that 2008 is already just hours away from being over.

Not only am I in a bit of denial, but I’m also out of it from being so sick. So earlier this afternoon when Tim was working on a project to transfer our 2008 pictures off the laptop and onto DVD-R’s, I indicated that I was frustrated not to be able to access the pictures faster and that I wanted him to wait at least until 2008 was over. Just as it came out of my mouth I realized that’s today!! Derf. After that we also had this conversation as we returned from the grocery store:

Tim: "Oh sounds like the recycling is being picked up."

Me: "Yep, oh I bet the mail has come too."

Tim: "Yeahhhh..." as we both notice the mail in my hands as I say that.

Double derf. I think you know you're sick when you have this much of a non-functioning brain! ;)

As I sit here reflecting on 2008, I have to admit it’s a bit of a blur. I still don’t even feel like it should be over. It was a whirlwind of mourning deaths; celebrating newborn life, marriages, and special anniversaries; fears over some sad diagnoses; spending lots of time with family; concerns over the slumping economy; and growing new & deeper friendships.

As I’ve been reflecting on the past couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking of some things that have special meaning to me . . . .

I love New Year's. Growing up we had a tradition of going over to my aunt's house (just a few minutes away down the same country road I grew up on), eating, laughing, and playing Charades. It was a tradition and it was so much fun! No one was ever too busy for it... we always gathered that night at my aunt's, no matter what (and that’s back when most of us lived within just miles of each other). Now everyone is too busy, too far away, or I manage to get sick at this time and can't have anyone over or go anywhere else. It makes me sad. I love New Year's and all the glee, celebration (the non-drinking kind), and joy that comes with it. I love counting down to midnight and then kissing my husband! :) I remember the first New Year's when we were together and going to be able to kiss each other at midnight... he was so excited. Now he forgets and I have to make him remember. Ha ha! ;) So tonight we are having a slow and quiet evening at home, watching movies, reflecting on the year, and me trying not to cough up my lungs. Goodness… I hope I get better soon. I’ve tried a bunch of OTC meds, so far the best seems to be Mucinex. It’s a 12 hour pill so I love that I’m not popping pills all day or drinking yucky cough syrup. The bummer is that it seems to only work for about 8-9 hours because the past few hours it’s been steadily worsening. But in 4 minutes I get to take my next dose – yeah!

I like spending time on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day filling in my new calendar for the next year. I spend time reflecting on the past year as I go, and writing in dates I'd like to remember happened the year before in the new calendar. I love writing special things in my calendar as they year goes along so I can “celebrate” all of life’s little things that happen that we’d otherwise forget.

I love the excitement and anticipation that comes with new jobs. My brother just accepted a senior pastor position in the town we grew up in. I'm so excited for them, it's almost as if I'm experiencing it myself! I just cannot help but be filled with glee. Of course, it means getting to see my wonderful nieces more often with the convenience of them living in a town that has Amtrak!! (So that when hubster doesn't feel like traveling, I can get down there myself since I don't drive long distances by myself.) Yeehaw! I am very much looking forward to more train travel in 2009.

I love my coworkers. We have our ups and downs, but generally speaking I just love the people I work with. And I dearly miss some that I have lost and have moved on (happy for them, sad for myself...). I treasure those who have kept in touch and deeply appreciate our continued friendships. I write this on the last day we lost a deeply treasured friend, Michele. We have so much in common and are yet quite different. I've really enjoyed our times together, getting to know you better, and learning from your strong faith and wisdom. You are a treasure, Michele. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You will be deeply missed at work, but we are happy for you and this next step in your life... wherever you may go we know you will keep trusting the Lord for your needs and he will provide. I will always cherish our times together and our good conversations. Then of course there’s Bob, Stephen, Jon, Debby, and I’m sure there’s been some more. I will miss everyone we lost this year, but I also am happy for them and the next steps in their lives. God bless you one and all!

Michele & I in 2007 when one of our other beloved coworkers, Georgia, departed.

I appreciate the team of doctors, chiropractors, nurses, and my rheumatologist who have at least attempted to help me throughout this year on my quest to learn more about Fibromyalgia and get an official diagnosis. Despite my initial fear, I’m very thankful to have this diagnosis and am trying to learn what that means for me each new day.

You know, I started this blog as a way to get the word out about Fibro. I’m not entirely sure that I’ve done that all too well. Along the way I’ve read more blogs, tried new things, shared more of my life with you, and tried to figure out exactly what to make my blog. I know it’s become quite a mix of things, but I’ve decided I need it to be that way. If all I did was concentrate on sharing my Fibro struggles, this blog would just become a way to complain and vent about my life while I strive to also find the positives in it. I don’t want to be such a horrible downer. So, I hope you don’t mind that instead this has become simply an outlet for me to share my entire life… fibro, ups and downs of general life, quirky things about me, Things I Like Tuesdays, personal pictures, etc etc. It’s been great for me to be able to use this for more than just talking about Fibro, which can get depressing. I’ve considered separating this into various blogs instead of just the one, but quite frankly that just takes too much work for me. ;)

So in 2009 the only additional blog that I anticipate at this point, is my new weight loss blog. Click here to see it now. I hope to do more with it soon (like add an RSS feed, etc), but for now it’s just to share my story about weight loss in 2009 and hopefully give me some needed accountability.

Thank you so much to all of you who read my blog, follow it, comment on it, and just peak in once in a while. I appreciate you all so much. I’ve learned a lot from you, and I hope you have from me as well.

I’m not big on New Year’s Resolutions, but I do think it’s fun to keep in mind the things that I would like to make better in the next year. It helps give us some things to think about and work on. So in that regard, for 2009 I hope:

- to read through the Old Testament in a year (because it’s the Study Bible and I want to take time to read the introductions and other information in there) and to be in a Bible study to strengthen my walk with Christ

- to lose 100 pounds and to get myself healthier so that we can start trying to have a baby in 2010 (our 10 yr anniversary in June)

- to work hard with my chiropractor to try to better my fibro so that the end of 2009 looks much brighter than ending 2008 feels

- to stop eating out so much and save more money

- to better myself as a wife and helpmate to my amazing husband

- to stop hair-pulling so that my eyelashes have a chance to grow back in full (something I have not yet talked about on here is my hair-pulling disorder, Trichotillomania, which is a problem I’ve had since about 4th grade, but we’ll talk about that more later... it's very embarrassing...)

That’s a lot of stuff, but I’m determined to do them this year, to the best of my ability! I’m tired of year after year not making the changes I want to make at all, and I know the only one who can change it is ME. And it’s time for a change.

I hope you’re able to take some time out tonight to reflect on 2008 for you and yours, and consider some things you want to change in 2009. Tim & I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year!!

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