Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dark and Lonely... Today at Least

Why don't people understand me?
Do they even really try?

I am trying to stay positive
Living life to the fullest that I can
Trusting in God's promises

Feeling frustrated and flustered
Wanting so badly close friendships
Close family
Why is everyone so far away?

Why do I feel ousted?
Why do I feel hated
despite being so loved?

The flow of advice is overwhelming
I don't always know what to say
or what to do
I think I want to make it go away
but I'm not sure
I know it is meant for good
but it feels bad

I wish my life were normal
but then God wouldn't have this chance
to teach me so much

I want to disappear
I want to hide
Why can't I be treated normally?
Somedays I want it
Somedays I don't
But oh how great "normal"
sounds to my ears

God is love
I know he loves me
I know he wants the best for me
I know that's why I'm being tested

And I think I'm okay with that

But why me... why now God... why this?
I want to trust you more
I want to learn what I need to learn
So I don't have to learn it again

I feel alone... scared... confused...
but I know you know how that feels
and I know I'm in the palm of your mighty hands

For that I thank you
Thank you for loving me so
Thank you for molding me so
Thank you for understanding me when
the world is a dark and lonely place

The world is a dark and lonely place


sandy said...

You write as I feel most of the time...dark and lonely. Some days are better than others, but there are a few that stand out like you are having. I wish for you to feel loved and happy, not dark and lonely. Easier said than done, I know, but hang in there IT will get better. Each day I stand on the edge of a cliff and choose not to jump. It must be so that I can comfort others :)

momtofive07 said...

Hang in there! You're really not alone.