Fibromyalgia on Vacation

A week ago yesterday we returned from our marvelous vacation in South Haven, Michigan. Ahhh, it was bliss.

I'm still editing the photos and working on a full-blown post about it {but then again, I still have my Thanksgiving, Christmas, & Easter photos and posts sitting in my draft folder... hmmm... I am behindm doh!!}. So for now I wanted to mention a few things specific to Fibro.

Sadly, when we go on vacation, my Fibro doesn't. It's really frustrating, because you can escape from the realities of life in all other areas, except how your body is feeling.

Meh.

You know, it took me a long time to come to grips with the Fibro, to find myself through it, and to wade through all of the muck that is life with Fibro. But I'm not perfect and I still have good and bad days. I still have days where I hate Fibro. And that's okay, I know it's part of the process.

And the cold, harsh reality is that Fibromyalgia never takes a vacation.

I went on this vacation way overambitious. I think it's because of the exercise and generally feeling better most days. I thought I could do more. I was anticipating hours on the beach, reading books, relaxing, and just enjoying it.

Suddenly on Tuesday morning, mere hours before leaving on vaca, while sitting outside Panera with my wonderful, gorgeous, delightful, talented, sweet-as-can-be friend Georgia {check her out here at it's just how i see things}...

 
I realized the truth. I had gotten way ahead of myself. As I sat there melting in the hot sun {quickly requesting a move indoors after starting to feel I was burning up}, I remembered. I can't sit in the sun for hours on end. A) Because I have a medication I'm on that tells me not to do so while taking that medicine, and B) Because I get wayyyyy too hot too fast.

I used to love the beach. I used to love laying in the sun. It's just not realistic for me anymore.

And oh wow, that is sooo depressing.

So when I got home I told Tim I didn't want to go anymore. I was disappointed I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I freaked out and told him what I'd realized and he just gave me the sweet "well, duh" look like it was something he'd already realized but knew I had to realize on my own. Gah! I love him for it but was also a wee bit mad. I didn't want to have to realize something like that. I wanted to have my vacation the way I wanted to! I wanted my body back.

I wanted my Fibro to just go away for a week.

So alas, I couldn't do half what my brain was telling me I could do. I got ambitious still and took nearly 10 books on the trip thinking I'd be super busy reading and just relaxing.

I finished one book and read less than 5 pages in 3 others.

I love books, they're in my blood. After all, I grew up wanting to be a writer, and now work as an editor/administrator at a Christian book publishing company. Books are a huge part of my life. And while I read fast, I also like to soak in the moments. I don't know what I was thinking when I went up there with a suitcase full of books, as if I was going to have my nose in my books the whole time. I relished the alone time I had with Tim and tried to soak in those moments instead of just occupying myself with a book {but I did do so when he was on the computer or watching tv}.

Tim doesn't even like hanging out on the beach that much. I don't know what I was thinking. Here he is... behind the umbrella {he burns really easily}.

Oh well, we still had a wonderful, relaxing time away. Despite initial frustrations, I'm glad we did what we did, saw what we did, and were able to generally get away from reality.

Needless to say, this vacation made me remember to step back, take a deep breath, and remember who I am now.

And what medications I'm on.