Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Did Your Plan Blow Up?

We had a wonderful speaker in our company's weekly chapel last Thursday. His name was Jeff and he spoke on the subject Did Your Plan Blow Up?

You know how you have a plan for your life and it just explodes in front of you? Whether it's your career, spouse, kids, etc, it's really hard to see your life change so dramatically from what you expected. For him, his son and daughter-in-law had trouble conceiving, adopted a child, got pregnant, and lost the baby at 8 1/2 months.

So tragic. So devastating. So blown up.

When things like this happen, we wonder where God is in the midst of it. We wonder why He allowed it to happen.

For me, it was several things, but of course the biggest of which has been the Fibromyalgia and not being a mom yet {I thought a few years after we got married I'd get pregnant}. 

One of the things Jeff pointed out to us is in Psalm 42:8. It reminds us that God pursues us - "[he] commands his steadfast love". In the midst of recent trials, I have definitely noticed God's constant pursuit of me, and I am so thankful for it! I think we can often see this in the little things, if we allow ourselves to.

Recently God has really been grabbing my attention in some phenomenal ways. I hope to tell you more about it later, but for now let me just tell you I know he hasn't given up on me.

As I was thinking through all of this, I started wondering about the flip side of this topic....

Do you perhaps live in fear that your life is going too well, and you are certain something bad is about to blow up in front of your face? 

I have to admit that I {sadly, but if I'm truly honest} I worry about this way too much. I let horrible fears and concerns overtake me to the point where I can get really stressed out just because my imagination is working overtime, allowing myself to dwell on possibilities of tragedy striking me.

It's embarrassing and shameful to admit, but it is indeed true. I live in a lot of fear. I know the reality is that life stinks. Sin is horrible. I know bad stuff is going to happen.

I know that ultimately means I need to work even harder on spending time in God's Word, allowing his words to mold and shape my heart, letting him grip me and find me, so that I will no longer fear but simply trust in his sovereignty.

It's easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

How have you handled things when your plans have blown up?

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