Thursday, December 30, 2010
Fibromyalgia & "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken"
I love this movie so much. It's been years since I saw it last. My brother's family got it for me for Christmas so today on my relaxing, home alone, quiet day off I'm watching it. Rewinding. Watching parts again. Really enjoying this good, quality, clean, heart-wrenching movie.
I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it in case you're curious to watch it now, but something really sad happens to the lead girl, she's in denial, and it brings about a conversation with her fiancee that struck home to me in a way that it hadn't years ago. Now that I have Fibro I feel like I can understand this on whole new level. Here's what he says to her:
"You've gotta accept this. You're a human being and there are limitations. You can't run away from it. You can't hide from it. And you can't change it. It simply is."
Those of us with chronic illness have come to understand that more than we probably ever thought possible. We have to accept that this is our life now. We have to realize we are just humans and we can't do everything. Quite possibly we were allowed to get this to remind us of that very fact. We have new limits now.
As frustrating as that can often be, it can be even harder if we don't accept it. I honestly and firmly believe that my symptoms were more under control when I had come to grips with having this illness. As I learned more, did more things to help control the symptoms, and try to live with it instead of just laying around depressed all the time and feeling sorry for myself... I got better.
It simply is what it is. It's our life now. Like it, hate it, love it, be thankful for it... no matter what it just is. We can't change the fact that we have it. But we can change how we decide to live with it.
I think it's a process for each of us. For me, the first two years were depressing, sad, frustrating, agonizing, filled with doctors and questions not many answers, and held a lot of bitterness over what had happened. God brought me through that time to a much clearer, healthier, happier state of mind, and a less painful physical presence.
Accepting it is often the first step. It took time, but I got there. After that conversation in the movie, the girl goes out to prove she can do her job despite her new disability.
And she does it. She showed that with just a bit of perseverance, she could conquer her disability instead of letting it conquer her.
Like Charles Swindoll's famous quote says: "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our attitudes."