This has been a tough, painful week as far as my Fibromyalgia is concerned. Work has been really busy and the past couple of weeks have been busy at home too. I'm not sure if part of the problem is that I'm feeling really exhausted and run-down. There are so many possibilities of why it's flared up this week.
The worst part has really been the fatigue. Man, oh man, I can barely stay awake sometimes and I'm having a lot of trouble getting out of bed. This makes me wonder if doubling my Lyrica dosage was really the right thing to do. It doesn't make a huge enough difference in my pain, and with the side effects (esp drowsiness), I'm not sure if staying on Lyrica is right for me much less staying on a double or triple dose (my rheumatologist wants me to go up to a triple dose, but that'll basically put me to sleep!).
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night in a big coughing fit and my throat was raw this morning. I've been sneezing, coughing, and blowing my nose quite a bit today. This morning at work was really rough. I could barely concentrate or focus on my work... but I powered through it because I had a lot that had to get done. But gradually through the morning it was getting worse, so I left work at noon and came home. I had a little soup and then I fell asleep on the recliner in and out a little for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. I've felt feverish or at least flushed several times throughout the day, and did last night as well. I haven't taken my temperature because I don't think I have a temp, just a little warm here and there. Not sure if I've gotten too run-down or not and caught a virus... or if it's just sheer exhaustion manifesting itself in other ways... or if it's a fibro flare-up... or what. Either way, it's frustrating to feel this utterly depleted.
I stopped seeing my secular psychologist last month and have switched to a biblical counselor at my church. She is WONDERFUL... such a blessing from God. I have only seen her twice so far and I still have a long way to go and a lot to work out, but I trust that she will help me to focus more fully on the Lord, point me to passages in the Bible that will help guide me, and help me to figure out exactly what is going on. In the midst of all of that, I still find myself confused and struggling to understand certain things... and to put my emotions in the correct perspective and place in my life.
Lately I have been feeling really overwhelmed. Incredibly overwhlemed. Today I spent some time in Isaiah 43 and cried out about how overwhelmed I feel. I know God promises we won't be overwhelmed and that he won't give us more than we can handle... but I definitely feel like I have reached my wits end... I'm so overwhelmed... and I feel like I'm well past what I can handle. But I know God knows best and I trust in that... but I need to BELIEVE it fully. That is where I am struggling and sinning.
Please change my heart O God... make me like new... help me to focus more fully on You....