Sunday, January 31, 2010

Trying to Live Normally...

...and then having a weekend full of Fibro moments to swing me back to reality.

1) I cannot have excessive amounts of sugar without my body freaking out. Boston Market brownies no more. And it's best for my diet anyway. No more "I'm having a bad day, it's okay" excuses. Today was the last time.

2) Pulling out a box of kleenex from the hall closet and just dropping it down onto my other hand, making my hand feel like I'd just taken a large knife and slit my entire hand. Oh peachy.

3) Laying on our bed for 3 hours during the Pro Bowl tonight (hubster watching on main tv) so that I could watch some funny videos on YouTube gives me large amounts of kinks and pain in my neck and back. To the point now that the headache is so intense and my eyes are so unfocused I am not entirely sure why I'm not in bed yet.

4) Babysitting for my favorite little guy Parker means having to make some adjustments on bad pain days. It took me a few extra minutes to get comfortable when I'd sit down to prep for feeding him a bottle (or, ahem, 3... hungry lil' fellow that one is!), which required some patience, or um, him getting upset with me for not being as quick at this as his mama... but alas, we survived it and he's no worse for having to wait a little bit.

5)  Cold weather does crazy things to my body. It doesn't move. It doesn't work. I tell my body to go and it doesn't or it does but very, very slowly. But I can't get too warm either. A moment under a heavy blanket and up against a heating pad and I'm sweating like a pig and have to get away from that stuff in a hurry. Lovely.

6) Ditching all other plans for getting work done around the house. I took one load of laundry downstairs. I did one small load of dishes. I set up our 2010 calendars finally. That is all. I couldn't do anything else. (Bless Tim's heart for finishing our laundry!!!) And as a result, tonight as I plan to head to bed and face a new week, I am feeling depressed that I couldn't get more housework done. I know I can't beat myself up over it, and yet I can't seem to help myself at the same time. So frustrating.

7) Trying to plan for a workout tomorrow night after I'm still reeling from Friday night's very intense, very hard workout is nearly more than I can even fathom at the moment. 

And I have no idea if this even makes any sense. Alas, to bed I go. Good night friends!

1 comment:

blueviolet said...

I can't imagine the feeling of urging your body to move but it not really wanting to and resisting. And the pain of a kleenex box feeling like a knife? That is intense! I'm so sorry!!!