Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

I remember my lonely years without anyone to share Valentine's Day. I remember the years of weeping, feeling all alone, and having dreams melt away. Thinking that not having anyone meant I was not worthy of love.

I remember one year in college fully accepting who I was and being okay with being alone. Having not ever had a real boyfriend, and having only ever gone on dates with good friends.

I remember my first Valentine's with a boyfriend. Tim and I started dating in April of 1998, so my first Valentine's with him was almost a year after we'd been together. I don't remember the details, but I do remember that it was amazing to finally have someone.

But then there are also the years of unmet expectations, loneliness despite having someone, and feelings of inadequacy.

If you are alone this Valentine's Day, married but lonely, engaged but not in the same state as your fiancee, or somewhere in between... keep in mind that the most important thing is that God loves you and is there for you. No matter what.

I'd also encourage you to be thankful for all the people you do have in your life. All of those who do show you love on a regular basis. I know that doesn't take the edge off the sting of loneliness on this holiday, but focusing on the positives in your life will help you feel better.

I feel that way every Mother's Day. I have a choice. To be depressed and feel sorry for myself or to focus on what I do have. The moms in my life who I love dearly and the kids in my life that I wouldn't change for the world.

I don't make the right choice every year, but it is a process. I hope no matter what you are feeling about this holiday, that you're able to find a way to enjoy at least part of the day {and I'm sorry, I meant to post this earlier but my day ran away from me!}.

If nothing else, have a piece of chocolate, that always helps.


blueviolet said...

Chocolate does help. I've forbidden myself from it today though.

Without God, I NEVER would have made it through the last year...or the five before that when our business partnership went bad.

Kayren said...

Not necessarily on topic, but I hadn't stopped by to say hi in a while, so, "Hi!" I do read everything in my reader at least but I seem to be busy and have interruptions and can't click over most of the time. Of course it's almost midnight right now so that could be why I am now. :)

I think we had those same cupcakes. The Valentine funfetti ones, right? We had them like three times before Valentine's Day!