Saturday, May 14, 2011

National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day - Part 2, Delayed

National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day lands every year on May 12th. This year, it snuck up on me a bit because of our vacation. I thought I'd spend little blips of time throughout the day posting a few, short posts about Fibromyalgia.

Instead, Blogger went down in the morning, my original post was deleted and then resurfaced sometime late yesterday, and I wasn't able to post again until yesterday. It was weird. Then I didn't trust it much and didn't want to post much until it seemed to really be back up and running.

So here we are now. A delayed post, but still one I very much want to write.

Fibromyalgia for me has been quite the journey. It was one I fought & struggled with for the first couple of years. I was in denial, depressed, walking around like a zombie, so sick of doctors and tests, ready to give up, wanting to die, feeling so badly for my husband because I felt awful that he was stuck now with a very sick person not something he deserved, and was really mad at God for allowing it to happen to me.

I tried chiropractic care, accupuncture, different vitamin regiments, rheumatologists, and a handful of ideas people kept sending my way. It was stressful and exhausting. I was losing all hope. Nothing was working.

I met a lot of people in the blogging community who were really struggling. And no matter where I was at in my relationship with God, I always knew he was in control and wanting to grow me as a person. I was challenged with a lot of questions, gave advice the best I could or was just a listening ear, and in so doing, was immensely helped myself.

And then somewhere along the way, God really got a hold of me. Things changed, God opened some doors for me, and the depression and denial lifted. I started regular exercise and nutrition counseling. It was like a whole new world.

I know it's different for each of us fighting Fibro. Some can't do much, some can. I don't know why I have this or why mine isn't as bad as some {the people who see me daily consider me pretty high-functioning for what they know Fibro could be}, but I do know that God is in control. I'm thankful it's not worse. I'm thankful for the blessings I do have. I found hope by realizing I had to start clinging to what I was given instead of what had been taken from me.

Instead of sitting around sulking, I've decided to truly live my life and enjoy it while I still can. I'm not going to let Fibromyalgia rule my life.

I am more than Fibromyalgia.

I am a crazy, weird, fun-loving, nice, genuine, kind, upbeat, excited, sometimes cranky, thankful, sensitive, sweet friend to many. I have to look at the positives, I choose to focus on the good instead of the bad. I am a follower of Jesus Christ who has the strength of the Lord in me.

I am more than my illness. I am more than a woman in daily pain and fatigue. I am more than my list of symptoms.

I am Rochelle. I choose each day to serve and honor God and bring him glory in whatever situation I may face. He's allowed this in my life for my good and his glory.  If I can bring him one iota of glory through my Fibromyalgia, then I have served his purposes.

With Fibromyalgia, I can still lift my head high and proclaim to the world...

To God be the glory! 

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