Wednesday, December 14, 2011

You Don't Look So Good

A word of advice.

When someone doesn't look like they feel well, please don't tell them any of the following phrases:

You don't look so good!
Man, you look awful today.
Do you not feel well? You look terrible.
You don't look like you're feeling well.
You look especially tired today.

When you don't feel well, you already know you probably don't look well. You don't need to hear reinforcements that you actually really do look terrible.

And yes I've heard all of those phrases, often in the same day from different people. Talk about depressing....

For someone like me who never has a 100% feeling-great day, has Fibromyalgia, is a hypochondriac, and has low self-esteem, the words "You don't look so good" send me into a downward spiral of anxiety, fear, frustration, and self-hatred.

Seriously, just don't say that to people. 

Whatever happened to "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"?!?!

I don't understand the motivation behind people being careless with the way they speak. Especially those I know are well aware of my illness.

I know people technically mean well and are trying to tell me that they care, but it's a weird way of doing it in my mind.

I am sick every day. Telling me I look awful just demeans the fabric of my being.


Rachel Jones said...

Sorry friend :(
I agree - not sure why people feel like it's helpful to say those things....

Sherah said...

Oh dear. True story. Not helpful!