5 Years Ago Today

5 years ago today was the first in a line of traumatic events that would forever alter my life in the Fall of 2005. 5 years ago today started the worst 6 months of my life.

We were in South Haven, Michigan, on a week-long family vacation.

5 years ago this morning we were walking along the river channel and then the pier that extended over Lake Michigan.

The lake waters were calm. No signs of a storm brewing. Excitement for mom, Tim, Tim, and I as we looked forward to a jet ski ride after lunch.

But a storm came.

The lake was really choppy by the time we got out there {20 min after riding the river channel to get there}. We had no idea it was going to be that bad, and there was no turning back at that point. 

The waves were maybe 3-5 feet high. I've never been a good swimmer {have to hold my nose} and I've never swam in waters this choppy before.

We had a blast for 20-30 minutes as we hit the waves. But then we tipped over.

And I learned very quickly just how bad of a swimmer I really am.

I panicked. Swallowed a lot of water.

Was sure this was it. I was going to drown. I remember looking up at the sky and begging God to save me. I didn't want to die. Not here. Not like this. I really thought this is it.

It was traumatic and awful. I can't even begin to describe it in full detail.

Let's just say, I learned a lot. I learned not to panic. I learned just how sacrificial my brother, mom, and husband are. I was reminded that my brother is one of the handiest guys I know to have around in a survivalist, emergency situation. I learned that strangers can still be really kind and lend a hand when you desperately need it. I learned that I will never ever view water the same way again. And as much fun as jet skis can be, I will never get on one again.

We were northeast of this pier:

This June we returned to South Haven on our anniversary trip. I wanted to go back, to reflect, to make peace with it all.

And I did. But it's still interesting to spend today thinking back on all that changed so dramatically in my life after this traumatic event. 

I even heard someone talking about all of the deaths they'd had in South Haven this year by people being dragged under by the current when they got too far out from the shore. We were nowhere near shore {but still within sight of it}. That really got me thinking about what could have happened, but what God prevented. He reached down and in His sovereignty, kept me here.

He's not finished with me yet!