If I Knew...

...for sure that I could never have kids, would I do anything differently?

That's the exact question one of my dearest friends asked me the other night.

And wow. It stopped and seriously made me think.

I didn't have an answer then, and although I've been thinking about it almost constantly ever since, I'm still not sure I really have an adequate answer even now.

• Would I change the way I interact with and love on the kids in my life?
• Would I stop longing for kids and focus more fully on what I know God has for me here and now? 
• Would I truly be as content as I think I'd be? 
• Would I spend less time wishing, hoping, and dreaming of kids and therefore more time seeking after God?
• Would I stop fighting bouts of depression, fear, weepiness, and general discontent as I KNOW the plan instead of wishing I knew what God had in store? 
• Would I strive harder for moving us closer to our workplaces?
• Would I live each day as if it were my last and just do what's honoring to God no matter what?

Isn't that really how we're supposed to live life anyway...?

But maybe there's just something about the way she said it that jolted me back into the right perspective.

And of course, while nearing ever-so-closer to the yearly dreaded Mother's Day by yours truly, this was a desperately important time of introspection.

Still mulling things over here.....